In My Veins(Ross Lynch Love Story)
by LynchIsMyLife
Summary: "Julia, please." The way her name rolls off his lips is bliss. His hazel eyes brim with tears. "You can trust me." The way he seems to truly mean it ignites her body. "I love you..." The simple words are vulnerable and true. Still, nothing is as it seems in her world. And they both have their dark secrets. But she can't help but fall... She never thought any of this was possible.
1. Chapter 1-Promises

**(I picture Rachel McAdams as Julia Thompson,**

**Kate Hudson as Charlotte Thompson [Julia's Mom]**

**Lux Teasdale as Demi Thompson,**

**and Gena Rowlands as Grammy Thompson)**

1

So tie me to a post and block my ears

I can see widows and orphans through my tears

I know my call despite my faults

And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

Mumford and Sons, The Cave

This is the third place this semester.

_"Julia, are you ready?" My mom asked, creaking my already cracked door open only a bit as she awaited my answer._

_"Yeah." I grumbled irritatedly under my breath, lacing my old DM boots and standing up. I grabbed my small suitcase filled with everything I owned on the way out. Upon reaching the shabby, dusty old living room, I hugged my grandma for a long time. i needed the comfort immensely. I then turned slightly to plant a reluctant kiss to my sister, Demi's, innocent little five-year-old forehead. I struggled to hold my tears as terror filled her big, doe eyes. "Julia! No! I don't want you to go!" She cried, latching onto my body to hopefully prevent me from leaving. Grammy got up off her spot on the couch and came to assist me. "Demi, we already talked abo-"_

_"No!" She sobbed._

_"Settle down sweetheart, it's not forever." Grammy cooed, attempting once more to pry Demi from me as I agreed._

_"NOOO!" She shrieked. Right in my ear. I grimaced, but kept my cool._

_"Demi!" Mom yelled at her from behind me._

_Demi's eyes snapped up to Mom and glistened with fear and fresh tears. I whirled around and gave her my worst death glare. The bags under her eyes were prominent and a dark, aging gray. Stress was evident in her features and overall presence, and veins stuck out on her neck and temples. I realized that Demi could be a handful sometimes and probably has been working on giving Mom a headache all day long, but that is no excuse to yell at a child. She wasn't doing anything wrong, she just didn't fully understand what was going on, and she didn't want me to leave her._

And I don't want to leave Demi, either.

_What, did she honestly expect a little five-year-old to be olay with her only sister who's been there for her all her life to just suddenly leave out of the blue, without her? Ridiculous!_

I can only imagine what Mom will do to her when she snaps. _She would never physically hurt Demi, I knew that, but she definitely would crush her spirits._

_I turned back to Demi and attempted to soothe her panic._

_"I will call every day from Uncle Robby's house." I smiled. "And we can Skype whenever you like."_

_She sniffled. "But we don't have a computer..."_

_"Well Mommy can take you to the library then." I suggested. We were too poor to afford much of anything, let alone computers of any sort. All the money we made went to the small amount of food we could afford and to pay the bills. Everything either came out of our own pockets or were provided through charity or as hand-me-downs. I felt my mother tense from next to me._

Figures. She _would _detest anything that didn't benefit her and made others happy.

Okay, that's a bit harsh, but I don't care.

_"Okay, Demi. Tell Julia bye-bye one more time and give her big hugs." Her voice was sickly and ran thick like syrup. I could tell she was angry but I really didn't care. She didn't care to consider me before saying things so why should I give her that respect? It's not like she would ever return it._

_"... Y-you co-coming back. Right, M-mommy?" Demi said shakily, still recovering from her mini-breakdown._

_"Yes." She said emotionlessly._

_As soon as I moved from Demi's tight hug and transferred her over to Grammy, my mother grabbed my forearm and pulled me to the door. I would have fought back and yelled at her to not touch me, but I knew it would be stupid to upset Demi even more._

_Once the slammed front door served as a sound barrier between us, I began to protest and tried to yank my arm from her grasp, but that woman had a death grip._

_"Let go of me!" I spat._

_She kept hold of me until we finally reached her beat up old Toyota. It was all different colors from the cars we had to scavenge parts from to keep fixing the piece of shit._

_She spun me around and got it my face. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" She growled. She was way too close to me._

_"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? You take out your stress on Demi when she is just as stressed as you are about me leaving and then you drag me out here and get in my face because I was nice to her? FUCK YOU!" I was beyond angry and frustrated at this point, and shoved her away from me._

_She stumbled back and struggled to regain her balance. When she did, she took a step forward but stayed out of my face, granting me my personal space. But her eyes blazed, and if looks could kill, I would drop to the floor right there._

_"How can you speak for me and make promises to her like that?! You know I might not be able to even have enough time for my work as it is!" Tears ruined her eyes. That's one of the things I got from her, iI think. When we're frustrated or angry, or feeling any emotion really with enough intensity, we start to cry. And no matter how mad I got, it always caught me off guard to see my mother cry._

_Seeing my expression change sent the tears spilling over her lashes._

_"Mom..."_

_She let out an involuntary sob._

_"Mom, relax. I'm sure she would be just as satisfied with a phone call."_

_"T-The phone bill... Wha-a-" She stuttered. I hated having to always be the adult, but I also knew she was trying as hard as she could._

_"Well then do it the old fashioned way and write a letter with her. She could use the writing practice." I reasoned. I was right. Demi was incredibly gifted and imaginative, her hand just didn't always have the same abilities as her mind._

_She sniffled and nodded, and I held her shoulders as she wiped her tears with her palms. When her eyes met mine again, she gave me a sheepish smile. "You're right... I'm sorry." The apology was meant to serve for multiple things, but it didn't make up for anything. I accepted it all the same, and we got in the_ _car to begin the long, silent drive to the airport. I didn't even bother to turn the radio on. I just wanted to be left with my thoughts._

_I couldn't stand being away from Demi, and honestly I had no clue how she and mom would keep their sanity without me there, but I trusted that Grammy could be their rock from now on._

_From now on..._

How long will this be, anyway?

_Robby had promised my mother that he would enroll me in college (he was filthy rich) but I had no clue when exactly I would be able to visit them and the familiar feeling of uncertainty followed me around everywhere. I hated not knowing things. I hated not being exactly sure what to do._

_I sighed under my breath. The last thing I needed was for my mom to take it as an opportunity to ask what was wrong, because I knew me well enough to be sure that I would not be able to stop myself from saying exactly what I thought of this particular situation, and I wouldn't be able to hold my ground in an argument now, when all I felt like doing was crawling into a ball and sleeping for a few months._

Maybe I am just worrying too much again...

_Whichever was the case, I wasn't allowed much more time to process what was going on, because we had already pulled up to the airport._

_I tried to keep myself from screaming out of boredom. We spent over an hour in itself in the baggage checking shit, and I accidentally forgot I had my belt on and the buckle caught the attention of the metal detector, adding an extra 30 minutes._

_It seemed to be years before we finally got to the gate. I was surprised when Mom called out, "Hey, Robby!" With a genuine smile. Wow, Mom. I'll miss you, too. Thanks._

_He was here, too? I only expected him to pick me up when I landed, not care enough to accompany me on the way. I was flattered and appreciated it, but at the same I just wanted to be left alone._

_"Hello, Charlotte!" He greeted my mom, then turned to me. "And you must be Julia." He smiled sincerily._

_"Yeah, that's me." I tried my best to return it._

_"I heard your birthday is coming up in a couple months." He chirped._

_"Yessir." I nodded. His happy personality was contagious and I felt myself actually being influenced by his charm._

_"Well then happy birthday, dear." I cringed slightly at the affectionate term, but I doubt like looked much different from my original facial expression. I got a grip quickly, though._

_"Thank you."_

_My mom and Robby chatted a little more and discussed the terms for me staying at his house before Robby took my tiny carry-on from me and we climbed the ramp together._

_"I hope you feel right at home with me." He looked in my eyes and guided me down the ramp, placing a hand lightly on my back. I didn't like the feeling of the touch, but then again I didn't like the feeling of any touch whatsoever. But this sent an even worse feeling through me, like he was going to hurt me._

_I gulped and answered, "Thank you. For everything, not just that. I know you don't have to keep me with you and I just want you to know how appreciative I am."_

_"Oh, it's no trouble, dear. Don't worry about it. Anything for family, right?" He soothed._

_I dismissed the thought I was just having as foolishness. I had only just met him, so of course I was overly uneasy around him. And besides, he seemed very nice._

_I nodded and smiled. "Deal... But I would still like to help out... I don't know what's around in California where you live, so could you help me find a job please?"_

_"Oh, you don't have to help, but of course I could help you get a job. Extra spending money never hurt, right? And you need a car anyways... You know what? I believe I have a position open in my company for you!" He was very helpful and he was right. I didn't know about 'extra spending money', but I could definately send money to Mom and Demi to help out and tell them that I haven't stopped caring about them while I'm away._

_"You have your own company?" I asked. No wonder he was so wealthy._

_"Sure do. And it pays well." It felt like there was something behind his voice now, but I ignored it. I was being ridiculous. He was doing so much for me, why would he possibly hurt me?_

_"I will have to take you up on that."_

_"Deal, then. We can discuss it farther when we get home." He playfully shook my hand to seal the deal. "I promise." He added._

_I smiled, overwhelmed with how happy this had turned out for me. This was going better than I had ever imagined._


	2. Chapter 2-Should've Known

**(A/N: Ross will come in Chapter 3, but please keep your patience and read this chapter first! It's a crucial part to the plot, if you dont read this then there are parts later in the story that will confuse you. Thanks for reading XD bye)**

2

Mother had to get you out the motherland to study

That was all she struggled to have a single daughter with the upper hand

Little does she know your never coming back

She put you in her brother's hand only for him to formulate another plan

He's the fucking cause of your appalling state this summer

Fancy that, you came to London to get pimped by your Uncle, damn.

Mikill Pane ft. Ed Sheeran, Little Lady

_It was all so great. As I finally stepped on the plane with Uncle Robby, I had never been more happy. Now I would be able to get my full education and help support my family back home. It made the distance between us a bit more bearable. "Hey, Robby, do you know how long the flight will be?" I chirped, I had started to warm up to him._

_To my surprise, he just rolled his eyes bitterly and spat a low, blunt, "How the fuck should I know. Now sit down, bitch." I was filled with horror and disgust for his foul language and change of heart._

_"Excuse me?" I will not be spoken to that way. I crossed my arms at him. He snapped his head in my direction in a way that suggested that he wasn't used to being defied in the slightest._

Well that fucking sucks for him.

_I held his glare with just as much intensity, maybe even more, challenging him in a way I doubted he ever was. I sat down with a mocking smirk and he sat next to me with balled up fists, brooding the entire flight._

I knew it. God damn it, I knew it was too good to be true.

_Honestly, though, how could I've been so stupid to think that his charm was anything more than a charade. Upon arriving, we got off the plane, and I tried to keep a healthy distance from Robby. I kept a hope in me that he was just having a bad day or something. That he actually did care about me. These hopes dissolved, however, when he grabbed me by the bicep and dragged and shoved me through the airport, clenching his jaw at me and balling his free hand into a fist as if I was an unruly child._

Wow, overdramatic.

_At this point I had last all the respect I had given him from his first impression was _long_gone._

_We got our bags and Robby practically threw me at the car, which was a very impressive black Lamborghini. Under any other circumstance, I would have laughed at the sharp, even pathetic contrast the car in front of me had from my mom's tacky '94 Toyota. The sight of something this expensive would've charmed me even more, but not now._

_My body lurched forward from his force, and came in contact with the hard metal. It felt like a was hit by a sledgehammer. I called out as the pain shot through my whole front side and spun around._

_"WHAT THE FUCK!" I screamed at him in pain and anger._

_He took a quick step forward, pushing me back against the hot metal once more. He made sure to breathe right on me as he got in my face. I pulled back in disgust. He smelled like tobacco and nicotine. "Let's get this straight," He started menacingly. "I call the shots around here. Therefore, you will not speak unless spoken to. And you sure as hell won't have an attitude, if you know what's good for you."_

_He pushed off of me harshly, digging my bones into the black metal. I hid my wince and he opened my door for me with a sickeningly sweet smirk, mocking me. I was so shocked by his violent actions that I didn't even think to roll my eyes before sliding in the passenger seat._

What had my mother gotten me into?

_•~•~•~•~•_

_The drive was too long, and I became overly aware of the creep sitting next to me stealing glances over my way. I was starting to get uncomfortable, so I crossed my arms to conceal my chest._

_After what seemed like an eternity, Robby finally spoke up. "I am so glad you'll be joining my company. I'm sure the guys'll go crazy for you." The words sent a nauseous feeling through me. I felt like I was going to throw up from all the nerves._

_I screwed my face up in disgust. How could he joke about that sort of thing with me? I had assumed he worked in some sort of office, and the last thing I needed was a bunch of middle-aged perverts undressing me with their eyes._

_"What kind of office is that, where you allow that sort of thing?" I spat in disgust._

_He was silent for a moment, and looked over at me in a way that suggested he was wondering if i was serious. I was beginning to get really confused. What the hell was going on? I let my brow furrow in puzzlement, which earned a sudden unattractive, sadistic laugh from him. I jumped at the surprise and grimaced at the sound. He was nearly doubled over in laughter. When he stopped, I raise an eyebrow at his strange outburst. "W-what? You thought I made all this cash from a little office? O-organizing papers?" His words shook a bit with remnants of laughter._

_I was almost afraid to ask him the follow-up question._

_After a little while, though, my curiosity got the better of me. "Well, then... What is your company?"_

_He laughed again, wiping a tear from his eye. "You're something, sweetheart..." I hated the sound as it rolled off of his lips. "Now let's get serious-"_

_"I am completely serious."_

_He still seemed caught off guard. He blinked, then got a grip on himself. "Wow, you can't infer? I really have to spell it out for you?"_

_"Quit the shit, Robby." I glared. "What the fuck is going on. What are you keeping from me?"_

_He rolled his eyes. "You'll see when we get home._

This is not my home, and it never will be. Not with you.

_The rest of the car ride was about 45 minutes, and with each passing second I felt the nerves building up inside of me. What was Robby? My imagination ran wild, thinking of him as some serial killer, rapist, gang member, meth dealer... Why couldn't he just tell me?_

_I couldn't tell which option I hated more: staying in the car with Robby or going home to see what Robby did for a living... We had to go to his house to see, so it couldn't be too bad, right?_

_I wasn't left any more time to over-analyze, we were here. I looked at the gigantic house in disbelief. Why would one person need so much space?! I looked over to Robby when I felt his eyes on me to see a smirk plastered on his face. He must be thinking the exact same thing I was, only mocking me because he knew the answer._

God, I am in for it...

_The walk up to the porch was too slow, and I felt like a prisoner being escorted to her execution. It seemed as though Robby purposefully turned the knob as slow as he could to torture me. Once the rotor opened, I looked around at all of the furniture. I was amazed by every aspect, his style was impeccable._

_He showed me the kitchen, where there was a woman not too much older than me baking cookies. She was Latino and had sharp features. She was almost unhealthily skinny and had almost comically large breasts. It was so obvious that everything about her was fake, from her slutty clothing to her caked-on make-up. But I tried my hardest not to judge her._

_"Oh, hey Robby." She flashed him a set of perfectly white teeth._

_"Hey, Cindy. This is my newest girl, Lisa."_

_"Julia." I cut in bitterly._

_He completely ignored me. "Fix her up for me?" I wanted to punch him in the jaw for that. Who the fuck did he think he was?! And what did he mean by 'fix her up'?_

_Cindy directed her smile at me and I must admit that it was very nice and warm. Surprisingly. "Come with me, babe." She said, and waited for me to come to her side. I would appreciate anyone besides this asshole's company. I happily left with her, though I was still so fuzzy on what was going on. "I'll catch up in a bit." Robby told her._

_Once we turned the corner and we were alone, Cindy made small talk and led me through the house to the basement. I was still very confused until Cindy opened the door in the back and to my surprise, there was a whole different part of the house there._

_I looked around and I was filled with horror. The air of the huge secret living space was thick with what I assumed to be cigarette smoke, only it smelled much stronger, and glowed with pink, red, and yellow light. Everywhere there was filth, from the stains on the walls to the random articles of clothing and red cups strewn across everywhere. There were two long hallway to my left and right and several doors were open, revealing bathrooms and bedrooms. Straight ahead was the living room, with lots of expensive furniture including a crescent-shaped couch and flat screen tv. Then there was a big chandelier that radiated pink and red light and a doorway to what I assumed would be the kitchen and dining room. It actually wouldn't've been that bad if it weren't for the disgusting mess._

_But what finally made me realize what I had walked into was the women walking around. Most were scantily clothed, some weren't clothed at all, causing me to grimace and turn away. They wore fishnet tights with short skirts, sky-high heels, caked-om make-up even worse than Cindy's and shirts that were basically just their bra with a mesh shirt over._

_My eyes widened to a point where they seemed like they were going to pop out of their sockets. "Robby is a pimp..."_


	3. Chapter 3-Saved By An Angel

**(Okay so the reason I haven't updated in a few days is because I've been INSANELY sick with KILLER allergies and a migraine and I really wanted to write but the headache hurt so bad I couldn't think and I just ASFGGJVDGBCHJKIH and then I got writers block UGH whatever here it is and it's extra long to make up for the wait :3 and btw thanks for waiting XD OH AND PRETTY PLEASE REVIEW? I need to know if I'm doing a good job :/)**

3

You work late, you was with a perv making dirty fake love in his Mercedes

Lady the word 'rape' sums up events that take place every night

You wanna get up but you know your legs will ache if you try

And you remember that your punter went crazy last night

You drag yourself to the mirror to check your face then you cry

Mikill Pane ft. Ed Sheeran, Little Lady

*two years later*

The California sun is nowhere to be seen as the cloudy, early morning sky crackles overhead. An eruption of thunder booms suddenly, making my whole body jolt in surprise. Not seconds later, a streak of lightning pulses electricity through the air, the feeling making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

A rush of anxiety sends me jogging up the long cement pathway to Robby's house. I was never one to enjoy carrying a purse or handbag around, and I am reminded of the reason as I fumble around in it until I finally find my keys after a good five minutes. "_God_, this is such a pain!" I complain and murmur a few curse words under my breath when after jamming the key into the lock it gets stuck. After another try I open the door and kick off my heels in exasperation.

That was the longest night of work I had experienced in nearly a year. It usually hardly takes even the whole night to meet up with the man Robby would tell me about, get paid, have sex and leave just in time for anything more to happen. Last night being the exception. The client this time hadn't just fallen into a, usually alcohol induced, slumber.

I shiver as I remember how the meeting had gotten violent when I tried to pry myself from his arms and get away to give Robby his share of the money after I was positive that he was asleep. But he wasn't unconscious, and he was thrown into a drunken rage when he caught me in my failed escape attempt, throwing things all over the motel room that was already a mess on its own. I pass the stairs and run up to my bedroom, feeling too exhausted to go down to the basement, where I am sure Robby is, to give him his share for arranging the meeting that gave me the money to begin with. Even though I know better than to procrastinate because I know I will forget, it is just too much right now.

I slam the door of my bedroom without worry of anyone hearing it (the basement was sound-proof) and run over to my bed, throwing my face into the soft fabric and smiling. I am so tired it feels like my brain will shut down if I stay awake any longer. Even on the long walk home I had just endured, I was fighting with my heavy eyelids and wavering focus, desperately trying to stay awake from the couple of days I went without a proper night's sleep. To say that finally being able to shut my eyes sends relief flooding through my agonized entirety would be a massive understatement.

•~•~•~•~•

I wake up for the third time since I got home and look to my right nightstand. The alarm clock perched on top of it tells me that it is 12:30 pm.

... I slept almost 20 hours...

_Oh, shit!_

I was supposed to give Robby what I owe before two o'clock! Now he will get an even bigger portion!

I spring out of bed and run over to the door to yank it out of my way, until I stop myself, closing the door back up. If I went down to Robby looking as horrible as dido honk I do, with makeup wiped off and sweats pulled on from when I woke up the second time last night, then it would appear that I was just 'fucking around instead of getting my work done and paying him', it would only strike more anger into him and after what happened last night, I know I wouldn't be able to hold the tears back.

So I rush over to my vanity and re-apply the foundation, concealer, powder, lipstick, eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, brow gel and millions of other products just like last night (though I purposefully smudged it a little to make it look like I had slept in it in someone else's bed) and leave my hair in its messy state for the same reason. Then, I change out of my sweats back into the dress I wore the night prior. Before I leave my room, I check myself in the mirror to see if my work is believable.

Realization of how horrible I look didn't capture my attention until this moment, I was previously too intent on applying makeup perfectly to my face to notice the huge, swelling bruise on my right cheekbone, the gash on my lip, the scratches on my left cheek accidentally inflicted by myself, the finger-shaped bruises on my chin...

Flashbacks of fists hitting my makeup covered face and feet coming up to strike my stomach as I crouched on the floor in a position I hoped would protect me from some of the heavy blows came back to my attention as I stare at the almost unrecognizable face staring back at me.

I can feel every muscle scream in protest as I drop to the floor when my legs give and sob into my hands.

_What am I doing with my life?_

I am not the same girl I was two years ago. I've changed for the worst. My eyes no longer hold any life and I glare at my unhealthily skinny frame. I've missed the glow my thick skin had to it in the old days, and I know I will never get it back. I look like a wilting flower. I used to be so powerful and confident, the adversities I faced made me strong. And now I am...

I don't know _what_ I am.

I can't stop the tears for over half an hour. When I finally calm down and I can stand, I grab my handbag and use to doorknob as support to steady myself and wait for my face to go back to normal before I cautiously walk downstairs. I sneak over to the kitchen and open the door without a care, a feeling of security in me to know that he is under the house still, so I don't have to face him yet. So you can imagine my surprise when he turns around to face me, green, snake-like eyes blazing.

"Where ya been?"

"My work ran a little late last night." I reply honestly.

"Why didn't you come straight to me afterwards? Instead you decide to sleep around all day, wasting _my _time? Don't you know how hectic my schedule already is _without _you adding to the stress?!" His tone was calm at first, but got angrier with each syllable. "I can't have you screwing around when we need you pl-"

"I just got home!" I lie. "Give me a break!"

He stops for a second, taking a menacingly slow step forward as he assesses me.

"You lying bitch! If you just got home your shoes would be on!" My face pales slightly but I pray that all the makeup I have on will conceal it.

I rack my brain for an alibi. I am relieved when I finally remember leaving the shoes in the doorway. So I gulp down to ease the dryness of my throat before answering calmly,"I took them off on the way in through the front door just now..."

His knowing smile makes my blood run cold. "You mean the pretty little black ones I saw when I came home _fifteen minutes ago?_"

_Fuck._

I look around the room nervously for an excuse. Anything to keep myself from any more harm, as I know full well that Robby isn't above hitting a woman.

I am caught by surprise as his icy index finger and thumb take my chin and tilt my face towards him. "Damn you, Stan." I suddenly remember the name of my last client as it is cursed aloud.

His tone holds no anger or sadness, just annoyance that his frequent customer had damaged a piece of his 'merchandise'. I am still happy to avoid confrontation.

After what seems like forever, he finally speaks. "Go downstairs. Cindy'll fix you up." I nod enthusiastically, I am so happy he didn't demand any of my money at all. Though I am sure the only reason he did so is that whenever a girl of his gets knocked around a bit, the grotesqueness of their injuries usually makes men turn away for a better-looking girl, so I won't be surprised if I am a little short on business for a while. I hurry towards the exit but I am stopped by his voice once more. "And we're having a party at Night Angel the Friday after this Friday, so make sure you don't forget." I nod at the familiar club name. I seem to recall him talking about that party earlier this week. And with that, I walk as swiftly as possible in the direction of the 'basement'...

•~•~•~•~•

The next day comes and I slap my alarm clock until it finally shuts up. I've been awake for a good ten minutes, but I don't want to get up out of bed until I absolutely have to. I stall on going to college as long as I can, thinking of how mortifying it will be when everyone points out my new injuries. I might've even gone so far as to skip the day entirely, if I wasn't only a week into my sophmore year.

I sigh when I look at my appearance in my mirror again. I'm all cleaned up and, in some places, bandaged, so I don't look half as terrifying as I did last night, but the big bruises and bandages are sure to draw attention. I realize I would need to come up with a story, soon, or it will be my head.

As I walk out of the house and over to the car I was borrowing from Robby, I turn over all the possibilities in my mind until I come up with a very ellaborate lie, which includes several explanations for any follow-up questions.

I'm almost to CSU's campus when I get a text from Theresa, I call her Tessa, a friend I made on the first day of school. She also happens to be in a sorority, but if you saw her in a crowd you never would've guessed. She didn't quite fit the stereotype of a polished and preppy girl, because she wasn't preppy at all. She wears modest clothes and has nice things, but nothing like the rest of her sorority. And there's no denying she is even prettier than all the girls in it put together, so they all hate her for it. It's actually really funny. Watching rich, snooty girls stick their noses up at her in jealousy, only for her to not give a shit and still steal all their boys.

'From:Tessa :)

Hey u still comin over 2 my dorm? I thought u said ud b here 10 mins ago 2 help me unpack.'

_Oh, crap! I almost forgot!_

When I first met Tessa, she had told me how she had an unbelievable amount of stuff to unpack. I really wanted a friend, and felt like doing something nice for her since she had been so nice to me, so I offered to help her.

I pull up into the lot by her sorority house and I am suddenly enveloped in apprehension.

I grab my clutch and climb out nonetheless, and click my heels up the walkway. I spot her building after walking about a minute at my impaired pace and I'm not surprised to find teenagers rushing all about like an ant pile after someone stomps on it. But I feel eyes on me as I hit the steps, and glance to where I feel it coming from. Behind me a bit to my right sitting on the couch in the large living room and staring at me is a breathtaking boy dressed in a white t-shirt covered in a leather jacket, black skinny jeans, and leather boots.

Blue locks with hazel as they stare into each other. His eyes hold me with a powerful glare, and I feel like I should to look away, but my body won't let me. His hair is bright blond, with dark roots. His eyebrows are thick and arched subtly around his oval-shaped eyes. His lips aren't too thin or thick, and offer me a small smile. I'm surprised by the gesture after being victim of his harsh stare and intimidating good looks.

I take it and reciprocate it. We stare at each other intently before a curly-haired, blond dip-dyed brunette girl tries to get his attention. He snaps his head in her direction for a second, as if he is suddenly shaken out of some sort of trance, effectively releasing me from his eyes. I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding before I hustle up the huge staircase, shaking my head as I try to steady my heartbeat. I feel eyes on me again, so I go even faster and swing my arms in attempt to speed up so that I can disappear around the corner and hopefully get rid of this uneasiness that is consuming me. I swing too hard when I reach the top of the first flight, and like the klutz I am, send my clutch flying down behind me.

_I hate myself..._

I blush hard and spin around, avoiding the eyes and laughter of the group that had now gathered to watch me for some reason. I glance up slightly to look for my clutch when the boy from earlier catches my gaze as he climbs up towards me with it in his hand. The crowd must be for him. Seeing his face sends some strange feeling exploding through my veins. I am so shocked when I see him that I forgot I was in _heels _on _stairs _and I slip on a step, which sends me flying forwards.

The crowd below gasps and my cheeks flame from my mortification. I am terrified and I don't even have time to put my arms out to catch myself. I know I am going to fall down the stairs, and I scream in fear when I am suddenly caught by a firm hold on my bicep.

My mouth hangs open in shock of being saved, but also in confusion of why this stranger's touch sends that feeling surging up my arm and leaves goosebumps in its wake. I look up at the boy and his eyes lock with mine once more, and from this close proximity I am convinced that the only explanation for his beauty is that he has to be an angel. His hair is his golden halo.

"This must be how you got all those." He finally speaks, referring to the marks on my face and my clumsiness. His voice is like music. He lets my arm go and I feel strangely disappointed and overcome with an empty feeling. I can't tear eyes away from his face. After a while I notice his expression change and he looks at me expectantly. I quickly shake my head and recover. "Yeah, something like that." I laugh halfheartedly. He smiles and shakes his head at me before handing me my clutch.

"Just be careful, alright?"

I nod and practically run the rest of the way, holding onto my clutch extra tight. I round the corner and sigh in relief when I am finally out of the way of the crowd's attentive eyes. I rush to Tessa's room in utter confusion.

_What the hell just happened?_


	4. Chapter 4-Messing With My Head

**(I picture Jessica Alba as Tessa Brown)**

4

I swing Tessa's door open and press my back into the cool paint in relief. I look around the small space of boxes stacked nearly to the ceiling and realized after a second that Tessa isn't here.

_She must be using the restroom._

I send her a quick text saying that I'm here and think about going ahead and getting started, but I don't because I'm afraid I will mess something up, so I just sit patiently on the foot of her bed. The boxes have no particular order to them and are scattered all around the room.

I'm envious of Tessa for being in a sorority. She lives in this huge house that was almost as big as Robby's with tons of her friends, goes to amazing parties every weekend, has a room all to herself and a house bathroom down the hall with a door that locks. It seems like heaven compared to the restricting nature of my 'home', but I know Robby would never let me move out.

My thoughts are interrupted when Tessa walks in. She is shorter than me by about an inch and a half, but only because I was wearing 4-inch heels, and her hair is effortlessly perfect resting in natural chestnut waves on her shoulders. Her skin is a clear light brown, tanned from the sun, but she assured me before that during winter she could blend into white walls. Her gray eyes brighten upon seeing me and she brakes into a perfect, pearly white smile.

"Julia!" She smiles and attempts to run up and give me a hug, but trips on a box instead.

"Fuck." She bluntly curses into the floor.

I laugh at her expense and go to help her up. "So graceful." I remark facetiously. I grab her hand and pull her to her feet.

She rolls her eyes. "Oh, so the ballet classes have paid off then." She replies just as sarcastically.

"You wouldn't need them as much if you'd get off your lazy butt and unpack these! It's been, what, over a week? It looks like you haven't even started." I nag, gesturing to the comically huge stack of random shit.

She smiles like a true smartass and claps my shoulder. "Procrastination at its finest, my friend."

I roll my eyes at her. "Let's get started."

We had about an hour before our first classes, so I knew we could at least get the first half sorted out if we worked together. I tried my best to focus, but no matter how hard I tried I just could not get over the boy who saved me from falling down the stairs. My cheeks flushed. I must've looked like a lunatic.

It becomes apparent that my mind is elsewhere when I try to put a sock in Tessa's toiletry bag.

"And what use is that to me in the bathroom? So I can wipe my ass with it?" She smiles to assure me that her harsh tone is meant as playful.

I glance down at my work and smile sheepishly. "Sorry."

She shakes her head. "No, don't worry about it..." I nod and transfer the sock to by the appropriate drawer, still deep in my thoughts of the mystery boy. "You seem a bit off, is something bothering you?"

"No, just..." I debate whether or not to tell her about my near-death experience. I want to know about the boy, but for some reason I don't at the same time. The way I felt from his touch was so unwelcome, inappropriate and irrational, but also overwhelmingly addictive and I scold myself for wanting to know when I can see him again.

"I..." I try desperately to find words that fit my thoughts. "I met a boy this morning an-"

"_Oh_, a _boy_." She draws out the 'oh' and exaggerates the 'boy', wiggling her eyebrows at me.

I roll my eyes and playfully push her shoulder. "It's not like that, trust me." She says an unbelieving, "Mmmmhmmm."

"I don't date, remember?" I didn't even want to after all the experiences at 'work', but of course she doesn't know about that. It sickens me to even think about it.

"Whatever! Just, continue with the story!" She flaps her arms around quirkily and sits at the edge of her bed.

I replay the event over to her, and she gives me her undivided attention. I describe him in detail, which, much to my annoyance, earns me an annoying smirk. I conveniently edit out my thoughts of his comparison to an angel. God knows how humiliated I would be if I told her _that_.

"I think I know who you're talking about, what was he wearing?"

"Uhm, a black leather jacket and boots, black skinny jeans, and a white tee."

"Yup, that was definitely Ross Lynch. He's a Junior." She says, pushing herself off of the bed and wandering over to unload more boxes.

I follow her and pick a box up as well.

"So you do know him." My heart flutters in anticipation.

_Shit! What the hell is wrong with me?!_

"Unfortunately, yes."

I furrow my brow at her. "What do you mean, 'unfortunately'?"

"Let's just say, he's not the kind of guy I could be friends with."

"I don't understand."

"He..." She chews the inside of her cheek while she searches for the words. "He's just not a good kid. He goes to a party and messes around with tons of girls every single weekend... I've seen a lot of girls, in my sorority alone, fall for him and it's not pretty."

I furrow my brow in confusion. "I thought he was dating that brunette girl, from the way she was hanging all over him."

"Oh, you must be talking about Laura! She's a Junior in my 'rival' sorority... And no, he isn't dating her, but I'm sure you'd get a different answer if you asked her the same question... Like you, he also doesn't date." I hate myself for feeling disappointed. I have no right to be, it's not like I could ever date him anyways. After thinking it over in silence that consumes the majority of the rest of my visit, I was sure that I was just irritated to know that I didn't even have a chance of him liking me, even if I would've rejected him if he did.

Petty, I know.

"Oh and, by the way, what happened to your face?" I was surprised she hadn't said anything by now, but she isn't stupid and I knew she noticed.

I turn slightly towards her and cock an eyebrow at her. "I threw my clutch behind me when trying to climb the stairs on the way here, and nearly impaled myself trying to get it back... Do you even have to ask to get an idea of what happened to my face?" I make fun of my own clumsiness to avoid the question.

She laughs along with me and I hold back the urge to flinch away when she throws an arm around my shoulders before giving me a light squeeze. "Fair enough."

We are interrupted by the shrill alarm on her phone telling her it's time to get going.

I grab my clutch and hurry after her, only to trip on the same exact box she did. For the second time in a matter of hours, I am caught by someone else to prevent me from falling. I steady myself and smile like nothing had happened.

"Jesus, woman, you need a helmet to go with those heels?" Tessa jokes.

I roll my eyes and laugh. "Just go!" I say, and push her into the hall, shutting her door behind us.

•~•~•~•~•

The day goes by and I am mostly successful with distracting myself from that boy, Ross Lynch, with my school work. There were times, though when he would break the dam I had up to stop any thought of him, and he would flood my mind with all sorts of questions.

_'Certainly, he couldn't be that bad, or he wouldn't've cared enough to save me._

_Or was that just part of some sick game to get me to mess around with him._

_But he didn't know me, so why would he think he had to play games to get me interested in him instead of just waiting for me to come to a party's and charm me?_

_If he was really that cocky prick that Julia made him out to be, then he surely wouldn't care that much about me?_

_Oh shit, maybe this is all part of the game! Look at how you can't stop thinking of him!'_

_Maybe I'm just over-thinking things..._

I push the English door open and before I can turn the questions over in my mind, my gaze meets with the exact set of eyes that had haunted my every thought for the past six hours. My eyes widen slightly and he smirks, the sheer arrogance of it irritates me. But I quickly composed myself. Did he transfer to this class after he met me? How would he know what this period was for me?!

I shake off these ridiculous thoughts when I check my phone and today is the same day I fell on the stairs. It feels like a lifetime ago, but it was only a few hours. There's no way he could've transferred or even found out which class I had in this short amount of time, and why would he?

But I never noticed him in here before...

I sit as far away from him as I can on the front row and open my book. Mr. Mathers droned on and on about _the Great Gatsby_ and I take notes even though I've already read the book two times. I shift awkwardly in my seat when I feel the presence of eyes on me. And judging by the uncomfortable tingling that shoots through me, they are _his _eyes. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of looking back at him.

_This is the last period of the day, I can make it through._

"Okay, class," Professor Mathers starts what I guess will be another lecture. "Today we're going to try something new. Group discussions. Or rather, partner discussions. I will pass out the assignment and then once everyone has one, we can get paired up and start."

Huh. I was wrong.

The papers are passed all around the room and Mr. Mathers begins to group people together. We are instructed to stay in our seats until everyone has their partners.

"Payton and Alyssa... Karen and Jake... Cameron and Daniel... Ross and Julia..."

My heart stops and I stiffen in my seat. When we are allowed to move, I reluctantly look at him to see if he will come to my seat or if I will go to his. He picks up his things and walks over, his face covered in smugness.

When he plops down in the seat next to me, I feel secure and warm. Everyone else in the room is irrelevant.

"Well this isn't demeaning, this assignment is more for elementary kids than adults in college." He remarks, the humor in his eyes sparks something deep inside of me. I laugh at his joke, which causes his smile to deepen in satisfaction and I can't help but notice the way his eyes sparkle when he's happy.

When I notice the strange way he is looking at me, my smile fades until it stops completely and my insides liquefy.

"I'm Ross..." He trails off, still looking deep into my eyes.

I nod. "The boy who saved me from falling down the stairs."

We stare into each other's eyes before I realize how ridiculous I must seem, so I break the eye contact and clear my throat before reading the first question of the assignment.

"What is important about the title of _The Great Gatsby_?" I read aloud.

He looks totally clueless. I look at him expactantly with my eyebrows raised. What seems like a lifetime passes and I finally understand.

"You haven't even read the first chapter, have you?" I accuse, one octave above a whisper before I throw the papers back on my desk.

He reaches back to rub the back of his neck guiltily.

"No, I-" he begins.

I roll my eyes in annoyance and interrupt him. "I don't believe this!" I internally facepalm myself and physically rub my temples.

"Sorry," The way he chuckles as if this is all a game irritates me more than you can imagine. I'm totally fine with him fucking his own grades up, but this is my grade as well. "But if I knew I was going to be paired up with someone like _you_, I would have come prepared." He adds.

_Oh._

_I wasn't expecting that..._

I look back into his eyes. I am extremely flattered by his words, though I'm not entirely sure what he means by 'someone like me'. A million questions pop into my mind but I surpress them.

_Besides, I bet he's just trying to milk_ _me for answers._

"I am not going to do your work for you." I say sternly.

His face changes from soft to hard, but I don't think he's angry, because his expression goes right back to humorous.

"Not _this_ work maybe, but I have something different in mind now that you mention it... And doing worry, I would do all of the work." He winks. His cocky behavior is a major turn-off.

I look into his eyes. He is challenging me. He finds my anger hilarious, doesn't he?

I huff and look down at my papers, then start to fill in answers.

"Hey, wait! This a partnership, not a solo gig!" He says.

"I don't want to work with you, especially since you're not really doing any work and you want to take credit for mine!"

"Whoa, there, someone's in a pissy mood. I don't like people with attitude problems." He taunts me obnoxiously. This is all a big joke to him, isn't it?

"And I don't like people who are too full of themselves." I bite back.

"Ouch," He cries, "I am actually wounded! Did you shoot me?!"

"Stop it, Ross. Really, you need to start taking this seriously." I insist.

He moves too close to me and whispers a filthy, "I love the way my name sounds rolling off those full lips." I gasp and my heart betrays me by speeding up to a million beats per minute as he moves closer, staring me in the face before looking down and biting his lip. My breathing accelerates. He doesn't look up for a while, and when he finally does, he smiles irreverently and says, "You forgot to put the 'y' at the end of 'they'. You might confuse someone, babe."

What?

I look down to my desk and realize that he was reading my paper. I am beyond angry at this point. He finds amusement in taunting me!

"Whatever, fuck you. I'm working alone." I am through with him.

I get to work on the next question but he interrupts me.

"Julia." I don't answer.

"Come on, Julia. I was joking." He gently tries to coax me into looking at him but I am furious. More at the fact that he played with my emotions like that than anything else.

"Fucking stop!" I suddenly yell at him, my built up anger finally bubbles over, causing a scene.

"What is your problem?!" He raises his voice to an even higher volume than me. I flinch at how he can go from joking, to obnoxious, to apologetic, to angry and yelling in minutes. He notices, and brings it down a notch.

"Mr. Lynch, Miss Thomson. Is there a problem." Mr. Mathers call us out in front of the whole class. I flush in embarrassment and I don't dare to look at him, or try to see who all is staring. I can just tell they all are by the nervousness that I feel making my legs shaky. Ross breaks our eye contact and looks at what I assume to be our Professor. "No." He simply says with a hard glare.

"Good. Now get back to work." Mr. Mathers snaps.

Ross rolls his eyes in a completely disrespectful way and I fight the urge to slap him.

I am surprised by my own thoughts. Usually, I fear violence and conflict in general and try my hardest to avoid it. But with Ross, I... I don't know, it's just different.

I go back to work on my own and I don't even feel bad that Ross has to do it all without even being up to date on his reading. I have better, more important things to do than pity him.

The longer I go sitting next to him, the more anger I feel builds up inside. Like a volcano.

He is distracting me deeply, and his gaze feels as though it is a physical thing, burning into my face and raking up my body, driving me absolutely insane. I was about to finally give in look up at him, when the class is dismissed.

_Thank God, I can't stand any more of this!_

I try not to seem too flustered as I jump in front of the crowd, putting a good thirty people in between us before I walk as fast as I possibly can in a different path than I usually take to my car.

_"Wait!" _A voice I would recognize anywhere boomed from behind me. Ross.

I am still trying my hardest to get to my car before him, and internally curse myself for wearing such high heels. Too soon, he catches up to me. I feel his large hand wrap around my wrist and gasp as the familiar shock stops me in my tracks, which sends his tall frame to press into me. My heart feels like it exploded and the tingling and goosebumps ripple through my entirety. He quickly takes a step back and withdraws his hand when he saw my facial expression in reaction to that, which leaves me with a dreadful, empty feeling.

"What do you want?" I yell at him. I haven't been this emotional in years.

"Maybe if you would stop running from me and shut up for two seconds, I would tell you!" He snaps.

"Well?" I bite back just as harsh.

He crosses his arms. "I was wondering if you were coming to Laura's sorority party tomorrow at 9?..."

What is this? First, he is annoying the shit out of me, then making a scene to embarrass me and piss me off even more, then when I try to get away from him because I feel so stressed that I could put a hole in a brick wall with my fist, he comes out and asks me to spend time with him?

"I wasn't planning on it... What, are you inviting me?" I scoff.

"You could say that." He says with a wink and turns on his heel, walking in the opposite direction.

_Now he's just messing with my head. _


	5. Chapter 5-Mood Swings

**(To all of my American readers, HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY XD I hope the fireworks were worth staying up all night, haha. I needed a day to recharge after that craziness! Thats also why I havent updated yet, but this chapter is a little long, so I hope that I mat you in the middle :3 PLEASE REVIEW xD If you do, then I will be more motivated to write. And I would love to hear what you think, your input means everything to me, honestly... Enjoy!)**

5

I stay stationary and speechless as I watch him in shock, but admiring him all the same, until he disappears from my view. I try to keep the picture of his sweet smile for as long as I can as I walk towards my car. I hop in and immediately phone Tess.

"I just got invited to a party, wanna come?" I offer.

I can hear the smile in her voice. "Yeah, sure! When?"

"Tomorrow at nine."

"Yeah, okay, but I haven't gotten a car yet-"

"Lazy ass."

"So you're gonna have to drive me."

I roll my eyes at her and laugh. "Yeah," I pretend sigh. "Fine."

We talk for a long time after, about school and petty teenage girl problems and it's nice. Today I felt less empty than I have in years. I felt free and alive, with Ross's touch lingering on me, making the contact points glow with the warm aftermath.

But my fantasy of a happy world is cut short. I am at Robby's house. "I have to go, Tess. Talk to you later?"

"Yeah! Bye. Text me!" She replies with her goodbyes and we hang up. I linger in the car, hoping to prolong what is coming next, but I know I have to get to work. For Demi. The thought of her little round face sends me jumping out of the car and marching up the steps in determination. All of the curtains are drawn and the glow of lights from the kitchen make it evident that the girls were already getting ready.

I am making less than half of what I initially made when I moved up here, and I know I had to get back on the horse, before everything can go downhill.

I walk confidently into the kitchen. All the girls lounge around the huge space wearing more makeup than clothes. And soon I will look just like them. I am guided around by Cindy, making my way from wardrobe to hair to makeup in three hours to make sure I look absolutely perfect before we set off in Robby's limo.

Apparently, Robby is 'busy', so instead Cindy directs the driver around town to drop different girls off with clients. Those who he hadn't booked for anyone specifically will be dropped off on a back road and walk around until they're picked up. I am, for once, one of those girls. It's a little embarrassing to say the least, but I intend to make the most of it. It isn't long until I'm picked up.

•~•~•~•~•

The next morning when I wake up, I feel incredibly sore. Not for the reason you think, you perve. I'm sore because I had to walk all the way back home after about three different guys last night. I want to get up and slam the annoying blinds shut, but I know my legs will ache if I get up. I smile upon recalling the dream I had last night. I was on the beach and simply having a good time with Grammy, Mom, and Demi. I miss them so much, it's been almost three weeks since I've spoken to any of them. Thinking of them makes me feel so alone, so I decide that I'll have to call them at some point today. I glance at my alarm clock. I still have ten minutes until I have to get up, and I can't wait any longer.

I grab my phone off of my nightstand and check the time before I dial. Mom will probably be at work, and Grammy should be getting Demi ready to get on the school bus and ride off to school.

I'm so excited to talk to my family, so you an imagine my disappointment when the number goes to dial tone on the first ring. "I'm sorry, the number you have dialed cannot be reached at this time-" I hang up after that. My shoulders slump and I climb out of bed. Maybe the bill will get paid soon. If not, then I'll just have to go old school and write them a letter.

I sluggishly walk over to my closet and flip through my clothes. I take one glance at my collection of heels that I have worn every for the past two years and tossed them aside when I remember how much of a pain they had been yesterday, from almost killing me to making my escape from Ross really difficult, and I have a feeling that that won't be the last time I will have to outrun him. I feel rundown, and I certainly don't feel like putting tons of effort into my appearance, so I just pull out my worn out white (now beige, from all of the wear-and-tear) TOMS, some whitewash jeans, and my old vintage Ramones t-shirt that I hadn't worn in a couple years.

I sneek around the kitchen, where Robby was meeting to arrange some things for the Night Angel party in a week. I am so thankful I didn't put on my heels, or they would've heard me walk past and I don't want to face Robby right now. I already have enough on my plate.

I walk out the front door and down the huge driveway to my car and drive onto CSU grounds. Once I'm on campus, I notice that I'm over thirty minutes early.

_The perks of not giving a shit what you look like._

I decide to stop by Tessa's sorority house and hang out with her until we have to get to class.

On the way up the stairs, I think of going to buy some envelopes and stamps after school. I round the corner of a hallway connecting to Tessa's deep in my thoughts, but I'm taken back down to Earth when I see Ross and Laura aggressively making out against a wall. I cringe disgust and get a weird feeling deep in my chest as I hold back bile. It's like someone just punched me in the gut.

I sneak by them, easily not getting noticed. I'm so thankful for the second time today that I hadn't worn high heels.

•~•~•~•~•

I breeze through my first couple of classes in a dreamy state. I wasn't all there at all, and I got called out on it by my Proffessor in Science, which was really embarrassing. I got over my odd feelings from seeing Ross and Laura kissing and I am back to thinking of my family. I'm out of my mind with worry.

I jog down some steps on the way to my next class while rifling through my assignments and when I step off of the last step, my shoulder hits something really hard, so forcefully that my whole body turns and I drop my papers on the concrete. I curse when a couple papers fall into a puddle.

I go for them, but before I can kneel down and save them, I am interrupted by a voice, "Watch where you're going!" It snaps. I flinch at the harsh words, they sound so foreign coming from the angelic source, but I have heard so many rude things come from it that I don't know why I'm still surprised. I slowly turn to see him, and my heart clenches when images of what he and Laura were doing this morning flood my carefully guarded brain.

"Ross?" I am confused, why was he being like this when he seemed to've let our bickering go? I thought the day ended on good terms, aren't we past this? "Y-you ran into _me._"

There is a darkness behind his eyes that I just cannot place, and his hazel eyes suddenly hold an evil black.

"A 'sorry' would work, too."

"What the heck is wrong with you, why are you being so rude?" I call him out in a burst of anger. It surprises me just as much as him, usually I'm not this quick to fire. It took much longer yesterday.

"It's not rude to be irritated when someone just walks right into you and doesn't apologize."

His arrogance combined with bad attitude really sets me off. "You should be the one apologizing for your attitude!" I yell at him and go to retrieve my papers. "Look what you've done! I needed these for my maths!"

I blindly yell my complaint at him, not even bothering to look up. I quickly grab all the papers and stand up to look around for the rest. I'm surprised to see Ross holding them all out for me.

_What..._

"Thanks." I grumble before taking them into my arms delicately as if they are a baby.

"Whatever," He says rudely, before adding, "Just watch where you're going next time."

"_Sorry_," I say with sarcasm dripping from my tongue, which makes him roll his eyes, only angering me further. "I was in a rush."

"Who would wanna spend time with _you_?" He scoffs.

I need to get away from him; he is driving me insane. I hate being so angry at him when I usually just let things go. I start fixing my papers in my hands, trying to make them a neat stack.

"I happen to have lots of people who are my friends," I lie. "Not that it's any of your concern. And besides, I meant in a rush to get to my class. And I didn't know you were such a jerk. Okay, yeah, I did but that's no excuse!" I bite back, still struggling with my unruly papers.

He looks me deep in the eyes. "You don't know anything about me." There is something behind his words, and I don't intend on finding out what it is.

"And thank God for _that_!" I give up on fixing my papers and walk on towards my next class.

I'm stopped by a grip on my wrist making goosebumps. I know I shouldn't feel like this, it's unhealthy. But how come even when I am struggling, trying to yank him off of me, I still got goosebumps from his touch?

"Let go of me!" I'm not sure why I am yelling. I'm causing a scene, but I don't care. He didn't when he did yesterday, so why should I now?

He uses his grip to turn me to face him.

His face is soft, sharply contrasting the angry face of red cheeks and flared nostrils he just had on. "Where are you going?"

"... What?" He is so moody.

"I said, 'Where are you going?'" He repeats in a rude tone.

"Just to my next class... It's none of your business anyway."

"I'll walk with you." His voice is more of a demand than a suggestion.

I blink a few times.

"Why, so you can be rude to me? No, go away."

The way we challenge each other with our eyes resembles a Mexican stand-off.

"Where is it?" He finally asks.

I roll my eyes and yank my wrist away. We stand like this for a minute and I cross my arms tightly in frustration.

"... You look nice today."

I cannot believe him. "Are you, like, PMS-ing?" I retaliate, moving towards my class again. Despite his moody nature, I really do want to spend time with him.

"I'll just follow you there if you don't tell me, you know." He says when he catches up to me, completely ignoring my comment.

"Yeah, I kinda got that." I retort.

I can't keep up with these sudden mood swings. One minute he was yelling at me, then doing something really nice, then insulting me again, then telling me that I look nice, then walking with me to my next class.

"Are you usually this moody?"

"Are you usually this irritating?" I roll my eyes.

"I'm told that I am, sometimes." Something inside of me makes me joke. It's worth it to see his smile.

"I believe you." He smirks at me.

I press a hand to my chest a feign hurt just as he did yesterday. "Ouch! Seriously, I am wounded!" I mock.

He recognizes his words from earlier being used against him and laughs, and I can't help the smile from forming on my face when I see his nose and eyes crinkle as he laughs.

"You're still an ass." I point out bluntly.

"And you call me moody?" He pokes me.

I giggle. I love this playful side of him. I wish it was like this all of the time.

"I'm usually not..." I say truthfully.

He rolls his eyes and, to my surprise, takes my unruly stack of papers from me and starts to make sense of the chaos.

We banter back and forth about who is moodier, but after I think about it for a second, I realize that it is true. He is easy for me to talk to, I never feel the need to suppress my true thoughts about him because it is harder to offend him than to annoy him. And he says much worse things to me, anyways, so he kind of deserves it. But he makes me just as bipolar as him, and this is only our second real meeting, though I feel like I have known him for years...

_ But, is that a good thing or a bad thing?_


	6. Chapter 6-Eye Of The Hurricane

**(Hey you guys, I have to go to my uncle's funeral today, so I only have time for this one chapter. It's more of a filler, but the next chapter will be really awesome! i have so much planned out, I can't wait xD Don't forget to Favorite/Follow/Review! Thanks for reading and enjoy :3)**

6

We talk constantly, there is never an awkward moment, even though we met just yesterday. When we get to my next class, he says a simple, "See you in English." And turns on his heel. I feel pathetic when I feel what I guess you could call disappointment.

I shake it off, and try my best to distract myself with schoolwork.

I switch my brain off and continue on in my dream state until it's finally time for my last class. My Proffessor holds ma back after class to thank me for 'the great effort I have made in maintaining my high grade point average', so I I have rush to it, even though it was only a short walk.

I practically jog down the hall in anticipation before stopping dead in my tracks. I almost fall, if I was wearing heels then I would have. I'm surprised to see Laura go to give Ross a kiss before she leaves, she obviously walked him to class, and I feel a pressure in my chest. He turns his head to the side, avoiding the affection until she settles on his cheek. That's the second time today, I am short on patience and it shouldn't bother me, but it does.

I relax slightly, but I still feel wound up.

_No, I don't care. _

_I don't care._

_I don't_.

It takes me a couple of minutes to steady myself, and when I'm sure that I am okay I walk over to the door and push the it open before walking in.

I hate how acutely aware I am of his gaze as he watches me enter out the corner of his eye from his spot by Professor Mathers' desk. He must've been talking to him when I was outside collecting myself. I feel bitterness consume me, and I look straight ahead while walking to an emty seat in the very middle of the first row. I don't even give him a second glance.

I set my things down on my desk and sit down before opening my textbook to the page listed on the board and trying to get an idea of what we'll be doing today.

I hear other people filing in and when I look up to a noise of footsteps coming near me, the classroom is nearly full.

It's exactly who I wasn't hoping to see.

Ross offers me a small smile before sitting next to me. I sigh deeply.

Ten minutes into class, Ross finally speaks up. "You're not wearing heels today..." He points out.

I'm aggrivated with him and I have no idea why.

"So?" I snap. He doesn't flinch at my tone.

"I just didn't notice until now."

I open my mouth to make a snide remark when he startles me by saying, "I mean, I prob'ly would have earlier, but I wasn't paying attention to anything but how cute you are when you're mad."

I can't help the blush that creeps up on my cheeks. He smirks and I roll my eyes before turning to the front.

"Shut up, Lynch." I spit.

"What, you aren't going to compliment me back?" The hint of humor in his eyes makes him look much younger than he does usually, with his permanent frown, and I try to ignore how attractive that is.

"I have nothing nice to say to you." I say harshly.

"Whoa, calm down, Jules. I was only joking, trust me." His bitterness now matches mine.

I admittedly really like the nickname that he calls me, and it probably would've healed my bad attitude if it wasn't used in such a derogatory way.

"Well you're not exactly my type either." I fire back and advert my attention back to the board. He rolls his eyes.

"You actually think I would go for someone like you?" He laughs.

"No." I reply honestly. I am not his type just as he is not mine.

I don't worship him or follow his every move, and I certainly don't let him use and walk all over me.

And he is too arrogant, and upsets me and tries my patience every day. He makes me too emotional, he compliments me just to take it back and besides, he already has Laura to mess around with.

"Who pissed in _your_ Cheerios..." He mutters to himself.

My cheeks ignite in anger and I clench and unclench my fists over and over to calm myself down.

A few minutes pass in silence and I finally relax.

"... Are you coming to the sorority party I told you about yesterday?"

_What?!_

I have a headache and I rub my temples to hopefully ease the throbbing in my brain. "Why should you care?"

"I don't," He snaps. "I just asked you a question."

"Yes. I am. Now would you please stop talking, you are giving me a headache."

"Alone?" He asks. I turn my body and scowl at him before looking back to the front.

The rest of class passes and we are dismissed. By the time I get up, Ross is already out the door.

•~•~•~•~•

"What about... this dress with these shoes?" Tessa holds up another option for me.

I'm in Tessa's room, a hectic mess of dresses, skirts, blouses and shoes surround is and we are in the center of it, in the only clean are in the room, resembling the eye of the hurricane.

I look at the skimpy little piece of clothing and cringe. It looks like something I would wear to work.

"Where's the rest of it?" I grimace when I take it into my hands.

Tessa laughs lightheartedly. "You're so innocent, how cute." She jokes, ruffling my already messy hair.

If she only knew.

"Yeah, yeah." I shake it off.

"Well while you're busy being a square, I'm gonna go ahead and get changed." She jokes. I roll my eyes and turn around to give her some privacy as she pulls the dress on, not even caring enough to step in the closet. "Zip me up?" She asks. I nod and turn around to zip up the strapless black leather dress that only goes down mid-thigh.

"How do I look?" She twirls.

The dress has holes in both sides of her waist and in the belly button, and has a heart-shaped bust line.

'Like a prostitute', I almost say, but stop myself.

"You look great." I admit instead.

"I better if I'm going to my rival sorority's party!" She jokes.

I laugh and add, "What shoes are you gonna wear with it?"

"These red ones." She grins, holding up some four-inch Nine West heels.

"Cute." I simply reply.

She smiles even wider.

"I went out and bought this other outfit for this party, but I didn't have time to try it on before I got it and turns out it looks terrible on me." She laughs. "Why don't you go ahead and try it on?"

I am skeptical, considering her sense of style when it comes to parties, but I agree.

"Okay."

She squeals in excitement. "Yaaayyy!"

"But I'm only wearing it if I like it." I say.

"Well, naturally." She says, rolling her eyes.

She pushes me into the closet so I can change. I pull on the red leather skirt, well mini-skirt, on first, then the white tank top, then the matching gold necklace and strappy gold heels.

I walk out and Tessa cheers, clapping her hands while jumping up and down happily. "You look amazing!" She grins from ear to ear. "Now come let me do your hair and makeup!" She is so enthusiastic, gesturing her hands as if to say, 'come on' and guiding me into the chair by her vanity.

I groan. "Not too crazy, this outfit is loud enough."

She nods. "I've got you covered."

She takes the flat iron to my hair until it is perfectly pin-straight, fixing my fringe so it sweeps over to the side of my forehead nicely. She goes a little heavy on the eyeliner, but I keep my mouth shut. Then, she curls my eyelashes and applies gel-like mascara to them. She powders a light blush to my cheeks and makes me pucker my lips for the red lip gloss.

"Okay, babe." I still cringe at the pet name, only clients have ever called me that and I hate to relive that. "Now let me do mine." She pats my shoulders and I get up.

"What, you don't want me doing your makeup?" I smirk.

"No, I just already have something in mind for me."

"Oh, okay." I nod.

"The remote is on my nightstand if you want to watch TV while you wait." She suggests.

I smile and nod, "Okay, thanks."

About an hour later, Tessa's voice takes my attention from the re-run of Friends.

"Okay, ready." I nod and look at her. She curled her hair in perfect little ringlets and her gel eyeliner it penciled on in wings. Her gray eyes glow against the combination of liner and mascara, and her cheeks glow with natural-looking, shiny blush. She smiles her bubblegum smile and I stand up from my sitting position on her bed before I grab my keys and we head out the door.

"Where is that other sorority house anyway?" I ask when we're in the car.

"Um, just pull out of the lot and take a left, I'll tell you from there."

"'Kay."

We keep up a nice conversation over the soft murmur of the radio and Tessa has me in stitches, she is so hilarious.

"Oh, wait wait wait!" She calls out right in the middle of a joke.

"What?" I laugh.

"There it is, pull in, pull in!" She slaps the console enthusiastically.

"Okay! Keep your panties on!" I joke as I pull in and park on the side of the house.

Groups of scantily clad college girls and sharply dressed stud guys stumble around the front yard, drunk off their asses. Tessa grabs me by the arm and pulls me inside with her when she notices my apprehensive hesitation.

_This is gonna be a hell of a night._


	7. Chapter 7-I Guess We're Even

**(Yeah, I know I've already written 7 but I changed it all up cuz I hated the original; it was too rushed. Dont forget to Favorite/Follow/Review and PLEEEAAASSSEEE ENJOY xD)**

7

When we walk in, we are bombarded by blaring music and stumbling drunks trying to offer us alcohol. Tess accepts two cups and hands me one. I've been around enough alcohol to identify it as a cosmo. The way she sips it down without hesitation makes it seem that the doesn't really give a shit what it is, as long as it makes her tipsy. I am impressed by her tolerance of the strong drink, I didn't take her sweet appearance as much of a party person, but she seems more at home here than at her house on campus. She continues to throw me curve balls, but it's nice to know that I won't have to hold anything back around her and I can party like I usually do at Robby's parties.

Hard.

I chug down the drink and we walk over to the bar to get more.

"Get the grasshopper; it's killer!" She is yelling over the blast of music hits.

I nod and smile. "I didn't know you were the party type, Tess!" I shout over the noise as well when she sucks the drink down in a couple of minutes.

"I am in a sorority, it sort of comes with it!" She giggles.

A good looking guy comes up as soon as she finishes the sentence, whisking her over to the dance floor. "Call me if you need anything!" She calls as the guy pulls her along with him. "Have fun, kids!" I joke and wave before turning my bar stool to face the counter. I pull out my phone and check my messages. and my eyes widen. I have 52 missed calls and 45 texts from Robby and climbing. I panic at first, then the alcohol kicks in, making me laugh uncontrollably, roll my eyes and shut my phone off. This is my one night to have fun, and I'm not going to waste it. I will take the consequences when they come, no matter how dire they may be. I'm already in deep shit by the looks of it anyway, so what do I have to lose?

I take several more drinks and smirk at my drunken logic when a guy about my age wobbles onto the bar stool next to me. His hair is short and dark chocolate brown, wavy and looks wiry. His eyes are the color of the sky, they're admittedly very beautiful, but red from his drinking I guess. His skin is pale and covered with tattoos and pieces of metal stick out of his face. Piercings. I wince at his harsh appearance.

I can smell him from here, he smells like sweat and cheap scotch. If I wasn't under the influence of alcohol then I would've stifled the annoyed eye roll at his disgusting smell, but I really can't care less right now.

My obvious distaste for him doesn't stop him from talking to me.

"Hey babe." His voice is thick and raspy in an unattractive way.

I turn to face him and he smirks lazily. "Don't call me that, please." I decide to be polite first, but if he continues on like this I won't hold back.

He throws his arms up in surrender a which puts him off balance. He almost falls out of his chair and I laugh uncontrollably because at the moment everything seems hilarious. He joins me and laughs loudly, clutching his side and then hooks an arm around my waist. I feel like I'm swimming with how much my vision and brain are swaying, but I can still feel the subtle tug of my conscience and slap his hands away.

"Stop!" I protest when he tries again.

"Can I have your number?"

"What? No!" He is killing the buzz from my many drinks.

"Aw, come on baby." He coos, trying to grope me. He is so persistent, and I struggle but everyone here is too drunk to notice my pleas.

"Jake. She said stop." A low, raspy voice intervenes. I would know it anywhere.

The guy, apparently his name is Jake, immediately backs off and staggers over to some bleach blonde floozie across the makeshift bar.

Ross' fists unclench and his jaw relaxes as he walks around to make a drink, I assume. My eyes follow his every move. He opens the refrigerator and to my surprise, he just pours himself some water. I shoot him a funny look.

"What?" He snaps. I jump.

"Just, I... Thank you." I look down.

Venom drips from his words when he swallows the water and finally speaks. "Whatever."

His attitude is starting to get to me again and ball my fists in anger to hopefully restrain myself. He rolls his eyes when he sees the action.

I take deep breaths. Something about him makes me so angry.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He scrunches his thick eyebrows together, forming a small crease.

"What do you mean?"

"You look like a fucking whore."

_That does it._

"Stop being so rude!"

"Aww, is poor little Julia getting mad?" He mocks and pinches my cheek. I ignore the electricity it shoots through me and slap his hand away. He smirks. It takes everything in me not to slap him.

"What is wrong with you?! Can't you torment someone else?!"

"Oh, wow. I just saved you from that perve Jake and you tell me to piss off. You're quite the princess, you know." He isn't mad, I can tell. Just amused.

"Why is everything such a joke to you? Why can't you be civil for once?!" I am getting sick of this. "If you were just gonna invite me here so you could torture me then I'll just leave!" And I mean it. I don't want to screw up Tessa's good time but I'm sure there's a bus stop or two nearby. I just can't take this right now, now that I'm mostly sobered up from Jake the weight of what Robby's consequences will be is bone-crushing.

I turn to try and find the door but I suddenly feel the now-familiar jolt of my heart as Ross grips my wrist, holding me in place. I don't even fight him and turn around to hear what he has to say. He lets go of my wrist and I rub it. Not because his hold was painful but because I was trying to cease the foreign warmth glowing through the contacted area.

From the soft look in his eyes I almost expect him to apologize, but instead, he says, "Did you come alone?"

I should be more offended than I am, but I know enough of Ross by now to know he never apologizes and always spouts the most random shit. I roll my eyes at him, and start to walk again but he grabs me again. In a burst of exasperation I yank away and yell, "Fuck! God damn, Ross, quit!"

"Answer me!" He is even more irritated than me.

"No! Okay? No! I didn't come alone! Happy?!"

His face seems to falter for a second, but quickly returns to normal. He was probably trying to figure out his next invasive comment.

"With a guy?" Bingo.

I groan in annoyance at his amused expression, cross my arms across my chest, and look around the room. "No." I simply say.

I look back to his eyes and he searches my face. For weakness, most likely. To see what he can do to twist my insides around even more. I just don't understand how I'm not immune by now. What seems like hours pass until he speaks again. "Do you... Erm... Well, you should come hang out with some of my friends."

I gawk at him in disbelief before coming back to Earth and shaking my head with a laugh. "You need to be medicated, Ross."

"Are you coming or not." He snaps.

I debate it for a second, and my satisfaction grows with his annoyance. "Nothing better to do." I finally mutter and it's his turn to roll his eyes.

He leads the way out the door and says, "You are one insanely immature chick."

"Yeah? Well, you're an arrogant, moody bastard who is in desperate need of a psychiatrist. So I guess we're even."

I hear him laugh for the first time in what feels like years. It is so heavenly. I swear, if he wasn't such a dick all the time, I could seriously fall for this boy.

•~•~•~•~•


	8. Chapter 8-Rumor Has It

**(HAAYY GUUIIZE sorry it's been a while since my last update Dx! I have had TOTAL writer's block... BUUT this is pretty long so hopefully we're even haha xD. So you all have chosen for me to keep this story so I'm going to use ideas from the book I was going to write with Harry Styles... As I've said before your input is EVERYTHING TO ME so pretty please follow/favorite/review! Anyways THANK YOU AND ILY SO MUCH FOR READING AND KEEPING UP WITH MY STORY IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY XD PLEASE ENJOOOOOYYYYYY BABES XDXD**

**I picture Whitney Port as Karsyn Little, Emma Stone as Chelsea McBride)**

8

This world, this world is cold  
But you don't, you don't have to go  
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely  
And no one seems to care  
You're mother's gone and your father hits you  
This pain you cannot bear

Good Charlotte, Hold On

•~•~•~•~•

Ross is totally silent while I follow him through the crowd. His ever-present frown is even more prominent, and he seems to be deep in thought, so I don't say anything. Instead, I try to figure out the complex person that Ross is. One minute he's screaming at me and insulting me, then he's lost in his thoughts, then offering me help.

Ever since I moved to this city, I haven't felt anything. All of my emotions have been locked away inside to help me stick it out for my family. But now it's like the cage has been unlocked, and I can feel again. It's scary, but he awakens the sleeping giant inside of me. I don't understand anything anymore, not even my own thoughts.

I can't help but sneak a look at him, to admire how his face is framed by his golden hair. He feels the presence of my gaze, and when he looks back down at me I notice that he has a metal stud in his eyebrow that I didn't see before now.

"You got a piercing?" I ask. I never cared for piercings, but something about the way it reflects the different colored lights around us is just so attractive. I shake the thoughts away, I don't know what I am saying. If he wasn't so good looking, then I wouldn't be thinking such strange things.

"Yeah, yesterday." He looks ahead with glossy eyes. The distance he is keeping plunges me into even more analysis, but I'm stopped short when we approach a long black leather couch in the back of the gigantic living room. On it, four guys and three girls are perched, one of them being Laura. Ross is slightly in front of me as he leads me over to the group and I brace myself for the worst.

I feign confidence when we reach our destination and the group's heads turn up in our direction. Laura's eyes narrow to slits, and I find her jealousy incredibly amusing. I can't believe she has the nerve to look at me that way, she knows nothing about me and I could assure her that I had no intention of getting involved with Ross' womanizing antics.

They turn up their noses and look at him expectantly, asking for an explanation for why he brought me here. He just shrugs and says, "This is Julia." Laura's hard glare becomes even more noticeable when Ross plops down on the empty seat farthest from her and I pull my bottom lip between my teeth to conceal my smirk. She has the most hilarious angry face.

"Hi, I'm Chelsea." The girl to the right of Laura smiles warmly, displaying a set of perfect, white teeth as her green eyes shine brightly against her beautiful cream skin. She has a dainty, small frame and her hair is a bright, unnatural red. Surprise takes over my expression; I expected her to totally ignore me like the other girl on the lap of a blonde boy, or throw daggers at me like Laura. I quickly recover and smile as she scooches closer to Laura and pats the newly open space next to her.

I sit and thank her when the conversation starts back up and the group starts playing a drunken game of truth or dare.

"Okay.. Alex, truth or dare?" Chelsea asks the brunet boy sitting next to Ross.

"Dare." His smile has a charm to it as it tilts sideways.

"Okay..." Chelsea looks around the party and takes a swig of the drink in her hand. "I dare you to go kiss that girl." She points across the room to a girl with bleach blonde hair, skin bronzed to a bright orange, and bright red lips. Everyone laughs, except for Ross and I. I'm not surprised, laughing isn't really his thing.

Alex's gray eyes widen. "Can't it be her friend instead?" He pleads, referring to a much prettier girl with black ringlets.

Chelsea smirks. "Nope, blondie it is."

Alex grumbles and stands up to stagger away as his friends' laughter follows him towards the girl. I can't help but roll my eyes.

He finally approaches the blonde girl and tugs on her elbow. When she turns, he presses his lips to hers. She pulls away with disgust written all along her features and that's when her hand forcefully comes into contact with his cheek. I laugh a little, he deserves that.

He wobbles back to our group with her lipstick smeared all over his lips as he rubs the obvious sting on his cheek.

"You're evil." He glowers before sitting back down. She gives an innocent smile and he rolls his eyes.

"Karsyn, truth or dare?" He asks the blonde girl who had still yet to acknowledge my presence. And that's when I zone out.

Ross' POV

I look across the small space dividing us and I swear she is the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. And as cheesy as that sounds, it's the only thing I know for sure.

She always takes me by surprise. I expect her to fawn over me like every other girl I've ever talked to, but she just tells me to fuck off. When I want to know more about her, that distant look returns and she is consumed by her guarded thoughts. When I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone, she matches my sour tone and forces a smile back on my face. That's one thing I haven't done in a very long time: smile. It feels nicerthan I remember.

I secretly admire the way her clothes cling to her, I only insulted her earlier because I saw the way every other guy in the room would stare at her hungrily as they walked by. I know it's stupid of me, especially when she would never feel this way for me, but the thought of anyone else touching her or even looking at her makes me want to put my fist through a wall.

My dark thoughts of what I would do to any man who dared disrespect her are interrupted when I feel the atmosphere in the room shift drastically. It's an almost eerie feeling of inevitable danger.

The tap on my shoulder sends an icy chill oozing down my spine and I turn cautiously to gaze into a familiar pair of black eyes, and millions of terrifying memories flood back to my consciousness.

"Hey, Ross. Fancy seeing you here." His tone isn't friendly at all, just menacing.

"Troy." I nod, determined to not let my cool and collected front be marred. "What are you doing at a party like this." It's not really a question, it's more like a suspicious statement.

"Funny you should mention that." He smirks, revealing his yellow, chipped teeth. He looks around the room as if checking to make sure the coast is clear. "It seems we have some unfinished business to take care of."

I raise one eyebrow at his hushed tone and his smirk drops.

"Charlie sent me, kid. If I was you then I'd come with me straight away." There's a look in his eyes that I remember well.

This time it's my turn to smirk. "Well, I know I differ from you when I say that I'm not scared of Charlie. And I never was. Besides, I don't work for that prick anymore, so could you politely tell him to fuck off." My words drip with amusement and sarcasm.

"He had a feeling you'd say that.. And he figured you'd need some persuading." His eyes flicker to behind me and confusion crosses my features before I follow his gaze. I feel sick when I see him eyeing Julia.

"A little birdie told me that you had your eye on someone. And judging by the way you were looking at that girl earlier, I'd say the rumors are true..."

I keep an act of nonchalance. "Who, her? Yeah. I was just thinking of how to get her to come home with me." I lie with an indifferent shrug of my shoulders.

He lowers his face and presses his thin lips to my ear. His breath is sickly and smells of illegal drugs. "Hm.. Then I guess you wouldn't care if something bad were to happen to her. But I can't lie, it would be a shame if that pretty face of hers was ruined in some way." Threats line his every word.

The color from my face drains as he pulls back. I look into his eyes with shock and fear in my own, though I mask it well with confidence and challenge.

"I'll come with you." I say, and get up to follow him through the crowd to the front door. I steal a quick glance at her, and I can't fight the disappointment I feel when she doesn't even look up or notice that I'm leaving. Instead, her glossy blue eyes are deep and distant as she looks at everything around her. She's daydreaming again.

I almost smile, but I know better.

"Good choice." He smirks. I just glare at him. I'm careful to walk behind him at all times, so that I can watch his every move. One thing I've learned from over the years is to never leave your back unprotected from someone as dangerous as one of Charlie King's boys.

We walk over towards the front door and I look around, weary of the good chance that Troy is not the only danger here. I know Jake is here also, because I saw him with Julia earlier. Images of the encounter replay in my head and I realize that he must've been the 'little birdie' that Troy was blabbing about earlier.

_That bastard._

I make a mental note to put an extra hole in his head as soon as soon as this is over.

My suspicions are confirmed when I see Austin, Clyde and Marcus leaning against the bar smoking joints and checking out chicks. I bet Luke and Ryan aren't far away.

They're keeping their guard up in a way I know means they know there's another gang here. My gang. It wouldn't faze them normally, they're young guys the size of football players on anabolic steroids. And Charlie's boys. Under the usual circumstances they would have everything under control, but I can tell they are just as scared of Danny and I's boys as anybody else. Especially when they're this outnumbered.

We approach them and I am dwarfed by their height and size, but the fear is still clear on their faces. They know better than anyone how true some of those stories people tell about me are. Troy, Clyde and Austin have seen them firsthand. I smirk darkly and I'm filled with satisfaction when I see their skin crawl.

"Hey boys. Long time, no see." I see Marcus open his mouth to say something, but Austin shuts him up with one warning glance. He looks down at the ground and cowards in his seat.

How smart of him. I'm in no mood to be messed with right now.

Jake joins us then. He's the only person who can say he's not scared of me without lying. Not because he's as strongor smart or even as tall and real as me, but simply because he's an arrogant kid who thinks he's better than he really is. In fact, I bet I could just reach over and snap his neck right now. It would be just as easy as breaking a toothpick.

He rolls his eyes before he speaks. "Where's your little whore." I pretend to not even care at his reference to Julia, but in reality it takes every ounce of energy in my body not to reach over and do exactly what I had just considered. I look into his transparent sky blue eyes and say a cold, "Which one? I have a different one every night." They can't know how I care for Julia. Charlie can't know.

"Oh, don't pretend, Ross. You're a shit actor, we all know you've got a new bitch." He challenges. "Otherwise you wouldn't've come with Troy when he threatened her." I roll my eyes.

"She'll only be mine for one night. I only came because I can't have you deuchebags ruining my good time." I lie. I know if Julia heard me right now it would be the end of any chances I may have had. Which of course would be the safest and right thing. I can't drag her into this life by caring for her, but I can't help how I feel. I've tried to stay away. But I can't.

Luke walks up behind Jake and rolls his eyes. "Fuck sake, cut to the chase! Charlie sent us to give you a message. He knows you're in that kid Danny Hernandez' gang. And he's not happy."

"So?"

_"__So_he says you're too much of an asset. And he plans on taking you back."

I cross my arms onmy chest. "'Taking me back'? And how exactly does he plan to do that? I'm in Hernandez' gang now. They're like my family, and I'm not leaving. You can all go to hell." I glare with pure hatred encompassing my rigid entirety.

"He finally traced you down after all these years. You've hidden well, but he's not going to give up."

"And neither am I."

We all stand there, just glaring at each other in a way with resembles a Mexican stand off. Which it is, in a way. Now all it boils down to is who will pull the trigger first.

I tense when I feel a hand on my shoulder. My head snaps to the right to find none other than Danny. His brown skin and dark glistens with sweat, he must've been dancing. "What's goin' on, Ross." He looks straight ahead with death in his dark brown eyes.

"Charlie's boys have paid us a visit."

"Aww.." He coos mockingly."We can't have this happen again, can we." He doesn't even have to call for Gene, Korbin, Mark and Smith. They're on our flanks in seconds. I smirk when I see the fear in their eyes multiply. All except Troy. I see the look in his eyes, and I immediately know he has a plan.

This is going to be a blood bath, I can feel it.

Julia's POV

I watch in silence as the crowd around me dance like maniacs to the beat of the deafening music. I look around the room for someone remotely interesting but when I come up with nothing I sigh and force my attention back on the group. But I'm still deeply involved in my thoughts, so Chelsea nudges me slightly and I'm brought back to reality.

"Huh?" I ask, just coming out of my daze. Karsyn snickers and I fight back the urge to roll my eyes.

"Derek just asked you truth or dare." She explains softly, nodding in the direction of the blond guy with Karsyn perched on his lap. He has a standoffish look to him and his deep gray eyes are just as cold and menacing.

The dark leather of the couch squeaks slightly as I shift uncomfortably in my seat. "I'm not playing." I finally manage to get out.

"Oh, no, you're _playing_. Unless you want to leave the circle." Laura smirks. I raise my eyebrows, she is not serious right now. It's not like she owns the very air I breathe, but she likes to act like it, huh?

I glanced around the couches for Ross, hoping he'd back me up because I really didn't want to go back to sitting alone at the bar and possibly having another asshole flirt with me. That's when I noticed his seat was empty. Looking at the unoccupied space questioningly, I wondered where he went.

"He left with a friend of his." Again Chelsea kindly helps me out with the details I missed.

"Oh I didn't see." I mumble, mentally kicking myself for feeling a slight disappointment. I want to know what he's hiding.

"It was pretty hard to miss _that_ guy! Did you see how many tatts he had?! All over his head too!" Alex speaks in shock. "Looked like some sort of serial killer!"

"Well he sort of _is_." Laura scoffed. "Don't you know who he was?"

Muscles in my throat tighten and I swallow hard, but it doesn't calm my nerves one bit. The people around us continue with their mindless raving, completely oblivious to what information I was anticipating.

My eyes widen, most of Ross' friends I've seen are preppy snobs, what was he doing leaving with this kind of person?

"W-Who.. Who was it?" I nearly whisper, lacking the vocal stability to utter a clearer sentence.

Laura smirks at the fact that she knows something I don't, and clear liquid pours fluidly into her mouth as she tips her red cup back. By the way her nose scrunches up in slight disgust before she parts her lips to speak, I know instantly it's vodka she's drinking.

"Troy Albano. He's, like, the right hand man of Charlie King, the leader of the biggest gang in LA. Even the cops are scared to go near them."

I scoff. Ross doesn't strike me as the 'dangerous' type. "What would _Ross _be doing with a guy like _that._"

"Don't act so surprised, it's not like you haven't heard the stories." Laura bit back.

I might as well have written 'CLUELESS' in thick black Sharpie on my forehead. Upon seeing my reaction, Laura rolls her brown doe eyes.

"Ross has a dark past..." Chelsea begins before Laura cuts her off with an icy scowl.

When Chelsea shuts up, she smiles in superiority and says, "Well, rumor has it that Ross was growing up in his hometown, New York, his dad was abusive and into all sorts of black market scandals. He would beat Ross, his sister, and mom until almost the point of death. which is kind of ironic, because when Ross was five she hung herself. Ross found the body."

I gasp in horror. How could she talk freely about morbid suicide without any emotion in her eyes. "So after that he got in tons of fights to take out his anger about his father. The kids there were all at least five times bigger than him but his strength was just..._supernatural_... People say that he once broke some kids arms just by pushing them against a wall a bit too hard. He g-"

I can't help but laugh a little. "This is a little ridiculous. How do you even claim to know all these things are true? It's unrealistic."

"How do I know? Why don't you listen to the rest of the story." She snaps sadistically. I've lost some of my confidence in the last few minutes, and I can feel the words of her story eating their way into my brain, so I just nod.

"Good choice. Anyway, as I was saying. He got into a fight with his dad when he was about 14 and his dad was so mad at his outburst that he took him to his good friend Charlie, and asked him to teach him some manners. And the rest is history. That Troy kid? His partner in crime." Laura doesn't seem bothered by the dark tale, she actually speaks highly of it in a boastful tone, as if the terrifying past that Ross _apparently_ has is respectable and even _attractive_.

I still don't believe a word. "_Okay?_ So where's the proof."

"Well when Ross moved here to work for Charlie he never talked to anyone. Literally, not one word. But then on one assignment Ross met this girl Lacey and they eventually made best friends... Well to _him _she was just a friend. To _her_ they were together. I kinda don't blame her for thinking that, though. She was the only girl he let get close to him. He trusted a lot of secrets in her. But when she found out that he felt nothing more than friendship for her, she told people all of the things I just told you."

My mouth hung open. How _horrible_. To have a past filled with being constantly hurt, and so you refuse to trust. But when you finally do, the person who you trusted hurts you in the worst way. There's no way I can believe this until I hear it from Ross, but the thought alone that it might all be true makes my stomach churn.

"But how do you know she didn't just make the whole thing up? When people are hurt they can come up with the craziest lies." I rationalize.

"Ross used to live in a frat house." See, _that makes more sense._

Her tone makes it evident that she thinks her answer is implying something obvious. But I couldn't be more lost.

"So?"

"_So _the other boys in the house could hear him screaming from nightmares. Every night." She put no real emphasis on the last sentences, but they seem to leave her lips a lot slower than the rest. They sink in and leave a haunting image of Ross thrashing about and screaming in his sleep. Somehow, the picture in my head causes me to feel something I can only describe as pain.

I part my lips to speak, when I hear a deafening scream from somewhere by the bar. It is so loud that you can even hear it over the music. My head snaps up in that direction, and I all I see is Tessa being cornered by the boy she left me for in the beginning of the night.

Before I can process what is going on, I am on my feet and headed towards the group around her, unaware that the room will soon be turned into total anarchy.

Ross' POV

"ANTHONY! BRING HER OVER HERE!"

Anthony is Korbin's older brother, they share the same black hair, pale skin and electric blue eyes. Anthony was always a bit twisted. Not that Korbin isn't, anyone who joins a gang must be a little fucked up, but Anthony was even worse. He walks over to us and drags a girl over with him. It's hard to recognize her with all of the makeup she's wearing, but once I make out her features, I know who it is.

It's that girl that Julia is always with. I'm sure she must be Julia's only friend, and they seem very close. I almost laugh. Did he really mistake her for Julia?

Anthony passes her to his companions and the look of hunger in their eyes is sickening. They form a half circle around her, trapping her fully. She glanced around in panic, but I can tell she doesn't even know what is going on. She looks totally drunk. I look at them in disgust. They can't be serious.

But they are.

Clyde steps up to her and wraps his huge hand around her neck. "Scream for us, sweetheart." Just as the sadistic words flow from his lips, she shrieks in terror and it nearly bursts my eardrums. "Girl's got some lungs on her." Jake taunts when it's over.

Clyde backs up and I don't understand what's going on until I hear the familiar bell-like voice I have come to love yell, "Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing!"

**(Btw I know Ross has a sister and three brothers irl but in this fanfic he only has one sister. And his mum and dad in the story will not be named Mark and Stormie like they really are.)**


	9. Chapter 9-Trembling Chaos

**(Hey everyone! Here's the next chapter! IT'S AN EARLY UPDAAATE! XD YAAAAYYYY XDXDXD You can all love me now ;) I have no obnoxious greeting today (I bet you're all disappointed xD). And all I have to say is.. I changed my pen name and the summary... AND MORE REVIEWS=FASTER UPDATES *wink, wink* Haha :3 OKAY ENJOY XDXDXD)**

9

No one's gonna take my soul away,  
I'm living like Jim Morrison.  
Headed towards a fucked up holiday.  
Motel sprees, sprees, and I'm singing,  
"Fuck yeah, give it to me, this is Heaven, what I truly want."  
It's innocence lost.  
Innocence lost.

Lana Del Rey, Gods And Monsters

•~•~•~•~•

Ross' POV

I look over in the direction that the lovely sound came from and I know what's happening. Tessa was bait, to lure Julia over willingly. They don't want a fight just yet, they want her to come over without having to kidnap her. Charlie must've had this all planned out.

_No._

I can't stop myself. I rush over to her and grab her by the wrist before she can get too close.

"Julia, not one more step." I warn with a voice full of authority, blocking their view of her with my back.

"See?! What'd I tell ya? ROSS' GONE SOFT." Jake taunts from behind.

Julia looks completely confused. "Ross?! What the hell is going on."

"Don't worry about it," I plead with my eyes. "Just go outside to your car and go home."

"What?! Fuck no! _I'm not leaving Tessa here!_" She tries to walk past me but there's no way in hell I'm letting her near them.

"I'll take care of it. Now GO." I yell. Why does she have to do this at the worst possible time.

"No!" She screeches.

"FUCK SAKE JULIA GO TO YOUR GOD DAMN CAR AND GO HOME!" I scream at her. She flinches. I know I shouldn't yell at her but she doesn't understand just how quickly these men could crush her dainty little body.

I'm not paying attention to anyone but her, which is the biggest mistake I could've made, because Jake immediately takes hold of her wrist.

The anger I feel boiling over inside of me is indescribable. I turn my head slowly, then our eyes meet. Hate-filled hazel to challenging turquoise. "Get. Your. _Filthy_ hands. Off. Her." I say through gritted teeth. He smirks and raises an eyebrow at me before winking at her.

_That's it._

One second, he's standing there with a cocky smirk. Next one, my fist makes contact with his jaw with bone-crunching force.

I've been waiting to do that all night.

His head whips to the side and he falls back into a table. The noise echoes through the whole house and the DJ stops the music in shock. Everyone's eyes are on us, but all I can think of is carrying out my murderous thoughts.

I look back at Julia to make sure she's alright. Her eyes are wide with fright. "Wha-"

"WOOOOO." I hear a loud roar, turning to see Jace, one of ours, head butt someone, one of Charlie's based on the tar black uniform and huge muscles, with crushing force.

I look around the room, which is turning into an all-out war with innocent sorority girls and frat boys running to the door.

Julia's POV

I am in shock. And a full on, brutal fight between burly men dressed in all black and smaller, more normal-looking guys breaks loose. They all seem to be around my age. I expect it to be over in seconds, as the bigger men look like they would be able to crush a rock in one hand and a skull in the other. But surprisingly, the smaller guys seem to be holding their ground and even look to be winning. Chairs and glass vases and pictures are smashed over people's heads as fraternity party-goers flee the scene in panic.

Ross turns to one of the creepy men standing near us with an evil glint in his eyes and a sick smirk on his lips. My body trembles as everyone around me beats each other black and blue. My whole world stops when I see someone with a knife.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Troy my boy. Ready to dance?" He taunts before turning to his companions. "KORBIN! SMITH! TAKE JULIA OUTSIDE!" He screams at a boy with sandy hair and chocolate brown button eyes and another with black hair and bright blue eyes as if he's bellowing an order. The look in their eyes is frightening, I don't want them to take me _anywhere_.

The blond nods and hesitantly turns to walk over to me. The one with jet-black hair scowls at the older guy in front of him with similar features before turning to me and offering a warm, comforting smile. Which is a great contrast to his previous hateful demeanor.

I feel the sandy-haired boy tug on my arm lightly. Ross and Troy's eyes are on me, both of their lips moving, but to me the room is frightfully silent. I'm frozen, paralyzed with fear as carnage unfolds around me. Punches thrown, flesh cut and blood shed. It was like something out of a psychotic horror movie, which would normally provide me with some sick entertainment at the knowledge that someone had it just as bad as me. But seeing it with my own eyes was like a living nightmare; they were animals.

"Oh my god." I struggle to breath as the sound once again floods in.

It's horrible. The screams, the sick and twisted laughs, the pleasuring smiles on their faces. It's insane. It's inhumane and cruel. "Guys, I said take her away. She shouldn't have to see this." Ross looks at me with sympathy and it makes me shiver. Why is he acting like he cares?

"Julia, come, please." Jet-hair begs, but I know when I leave they will fight, and the thought of Troy having his fists throwing punches at Ross makes my stomach turn.

"NO." I snap, pulling my hand away.

"Fuck sake, you are so fuckin' stubborn." Ross scowls, his arms swooping my body over his shoulder in one swift and sudden movement.

I wiggle, kick and scream, cussing profanity at him, but nothing seems to work. I dig my nails into his shoulders, but it only makes him tighten his grip. He smells of blood and sweat and warmth, and it drives my senses wild.

My eyes are horrified by the sights I see as he heads towards the front door with sand-hair and jet-hair on either side of him. I can see Smith carrying a fainted Tessa. "PUT ME DOWN, ROSS! PLEASE. PLEASE DON'T FIGHT!" He tenses and in a matter of seconds the door is flung open and I am placed on my feet in the dirty, green grass. A cold wind nips at my skin as his dark, deep hazel eyes look into mine with warning, but once again I see the look of protection I saw when he punched that guy earlier buried beneath the blurring darkness. Ross looks apprehensively at jet-hair. "Keep her safe, Korbin." So that's his name.

"I will, bro, don't worry. Smith is my second pair of eyes." He nods at sand-hair. "Twice the protection. She'll be fine."

His fingers take hold of my jaw, gently, forcing me to look at him as his finger dance along my skin. His touch is heavenly. His skin smooth and electric against mine, leaving traces of burning heat in their wake.

"Don't even think about coming back inside. I'll be mad, and if something happened to you I would never forgive myself. Don't make me angry, Jules." He warns, his rinse dark and his expression unreadable. I watch as he turns his back on me and runs towards the house. I step forward, just about to speak when the door slams shut and he disappears inside. Leaving me speechless and scared. I don't want him to get hurt. I turn to the two boys in my company, who shoot me smiles that seem to say _I know something you don't know._

Smith gestures for me to follow them, and I don't know why I trust them, but I do. I shake my head and take a deep breath to calm myself. We walk along the grass to a dark Range Rover and Smith places the unconscious Tessa in the back seat before helping me in behind her. I smile at his attempt of being nice. He has a warm sense of comfort to him, and it helps ease my trembling entirety. He goes to help me buckle up but I wave it off and assure him I can do it myself. He smiles politely and shuts my door before getting in the passenger seat.

"So, to your house?" Korbin asks. Pictures of Robby flash in my mind and it shoots up a red flag. I'm not ready to face him. Not after what I'd just witnessed.

I shake my head. "Take me to Tessa's sorority house, please." My voice is small and raspy, and trembles like the rest of my body. Korbin nods and glances at me in the mirror before driving off, and I am left with the image of the house and overwhelming worry as we drive away.

Ross' POV

Smith and Korbin both have knowing smirks plastered on their face before I slam the door shut. The sights around me make my stomach churn; so much blood, so much evil. Maybe I'm one of them. Maybe I'm evil, no good. Maybe I'm unfixable.

Before I even have a moment to process my thoughts I see Troy and he's headed my way.

I feel my knuckles crack and my muscles tense. My eyes darken and my smirk appears. I change into him in a blink of an eye - him, the side of me I never wanted to be; I'm my dad.

I run towards him and with one forcing blow he's on the floor. I can't stop myself - punch after punch, blow after blow. His blood on my knuckles and his painful grunts are music to my ears. Suddenly I feel a stinging sensation in my upper arm. An agonizing scream echoes from my lips. I look down, blood seeping from my skin, a switch blade in his hands as he breathes heavily. I stand to my feet, my fingers touching the deep wound as blood smears across my fingers. Suddenly I laugh, an evil, unforgiving laugh, and in the moment I even scare myself.

"You shouldn't have done that." My eyes widen, my tone empty and hollow as I tusked, towering above him.

My foot swings, one hard blow to the stomach and his eyes close over. I step back, observing his body. He moves slightly and I breathe in relief. As always, guilt kicks in and tears sting at my eyes. I hold them in, and pull the black hood under my leather jacket over my head as I hear Danny scream my name. I break out in a sprint, following him out of Laura's fraternity house where we usually threw our parties.

As we leave the fight is still in full swing. And that's when I see that snitch bastard Jake pointing in my direction before he makes a gun sign with his fingers, aiming them at my head. I laugh, flipping him the middle finger before Danny drags me out of the house and into his car.

I can hear sirens as we drive off into the dark night. I take off my two jackets and use the black hoodie to wipe the deep red blood away. I toss it in the back and grab a spare one of Danny's, and a sharp pain shoots up my arm as I carefully pull it over my head.

I like the pain, it makes me feel less guilty - it makes me feel alive.

_'PLEASE, ROSS. PLEASE DONT FIGHT!' _I couldn't get her words out of my head. Ever since I had met her, her bright blue eyes had haunted my every thought.

Danny struggled to drive, he was highly intoxicated on God knows what. I rolled my head to the side, slumping back into the leather seat as he began to slow down.

"What happened to us?" I ask, my eyes blinking up at him.

"What are you blabbin' on about now, Ross?" He laughs, forcing a cigarette into his mouth.

"Us. Our, I don't know, innocence?" I breathe, trying to figure out exactly when I turned into this person. This monster.

"Peaople beat it out of us, bro. This place, this town; it destroys everything. You on the other hand, you never had innocence." He whispers, looking at me with a serious expression. He's right, everyone is right; I'm bad and rotten to the core.

He blows a puff of smoke in my face and smiles his sadistic, fucked up smile. I turn away from him, directing my gaze out of the window. After a few minutes, my eyes widen. I totally forgot about her. I go to dig Danny's phone out of his jeans pocket.

"WHOA!" He swerves and we nearly hit a streetlight, my head hits the dashboard and I immediately regret not wearing a seatbelt. Danny laughs loudly. "What the fuck are you doing, faggot?!" I glare at him. He knows I find that term incredibly offensive.

"Give me your motherfucking phone, asshole." I grit my teeth. He rolls his eyes and lifts his hips off the seat to dig in his back pocket before dlipping it out and tossing it over to me. I dial Smith's number and tap the dash in anticipation.

"Hello?" His low voice finally answers.

"Smith," I sigh in relief. "Is she okay?"

"Seriously? What is it with this chick." Danny scoffs. I shoot a glare and he rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, Ross. 'Course she's fine. Ya wanna talk to 'er?" Smith speaks up.

"Y-yeah.."

"'Kay." I hear murmuring in the background but I can't understand any of it.

"H-h... Hello?" She breathes into the phone. Her fragile voice breaks my heart.

"Have you been crying?" I ask in astonishment.

"What I j-just saw... Can you b-blame me?" I guess I can't.

I think for a second before my eyes widen and my brows furrow. "Are you afraid of me?" I choke, feeling my heart swell painfully.

"I-I..."

"I'm coming over. Where are you." I demand, I have to be with her. I need to show her that she doesn't have to be scared of me.

I hear her gasp and then Smith is talking to me. "Ross. Buddy. I don't think that's a good idea, sh-"

"I don't give a shit what you think." I snap. "Where the fuck are you."

He sighs, but tells me where they are and I repeat the address to Danny before hanging up. He just chuckles at me. I raise and eyebrow. "What."

"Nothin', nothin'." He laughs, driving like a maniac, taking me to my Julia.


	10. Chapter 10-We're Not Enemies

**(Sorry for the wait, I've just been really bummed lately. Just wondering... Does anyone know a good program to use in making fanfiction trailers? I use my phone to do all of this so I mean like an app. Preferably free. If you know of anything please tell meeeh. Thanks ^^ As always, don't forget to favorite/follow/review! I love your feedback, it means a lot, even if you're just telling me to "UPDATE SOOOON" hahaha. ENJOY XD)**

10

Julia's POV

I feel my eyes sting as another tear falls to it's release. I wrap Smith's cardigan tighter around my body, my legs struggle to walk up the step of the gigantic stairway as my whole body trembles with fear. I guide them down the hall and stop in front of Tessa's door. Korbin smiles slightly at me and I force one back before he opens the door.

"'Kay, kiddo. Home, sweet home." Smith attempts to lighten the mood, walking in and placing Tess on the bed. I doubt she's going to wake up until at least noon tomorrow. Korbin sat on the bed and Smith came to join him.

"Hey, fatass, you're sittin' on the remote!" Korbin laughed, pushing Smith away, only to have him lose balance and fall off the bed and onto the floor with a thud. Smith starts cracking up, and Korbin soon joins him. I stare at them from across the room.

Their smiles instantly drop when they notice the look of dispair in my tired eyes.

Smith gets up and walks over to me, a look of worry drawn on his features. His comforting warmth radiates around the atmosphere when I need it the most.

"You alright?" He asks, looking deep into my eyes with a look of concern. I try to offer a reassuring smile, but it just turns into a grimace.

I give up and shake my head as I feel more tears bubble to the surface. "No." I cry. He frowns and slowly wraps his arms around me, cautious not to go too far.

"Do ya... Erm... Do ya wanna talk about it?" He asks after an uncomfortable silence. I shake my head.

"No." I breath.

"Good, 'cuz I'm not really one for heart-to-hearts." Be sighs in relief. A small smile tugs at my lips as he helps me onto the bed.

"I hate to break it to ya, Julia. But given the circumstances, you're gonna have to get used to it." I'm not sure what Korbin means by 'given the circumstances', but I don't really care right now.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that." I whisper, looking away and leaning back on the headboard.

A few minutes pass by in thoughtful silence.

Smith walks into the room with a glass of water and hands it to me before sitting next to me. I didn't even realize that he left.

"T-thanks." He nods and smiles sympathetically. I'm not scared of him, or Korbin for that matter, for some reason. Clearly they're both extremely dangerous. Maybe it's the fact that I didn't see them get involved in any of the fighting and that they were sitting here comforting me like normal teenage guys while I was still trembling from the chaos that happened minutes ago. I keep trying to tell myself I'm safe, I got away, but I'm so not.

"Can I let ya in on a lil secret, hun?" Smith asks. I cringe at the pet name but quickly compose myself and nod hestitantly.

Korbin sends him a warning glare. I guess they have tons of secrets, so I don't have the slightest clue what Smith's going to tell me. "You prob'ly already know this, so I guess it's not that big of a secret, but Ross cares a lot about you."

I scoff. "Oh, really." I reply, my voice dripping with malice.

"Really," He picks up the sarcasm, but doesn't react to it. "I've never seen him go through so much trouble for a girl. Or even look at a girl the way he looks at you."

"I highly doubt that," I roll my eyes. "All he did was get me out of the house, not anything special."

"He _also _made _us_ take you home to make sure you were 100% safe."

"Probably just making sure I'm alive enough to be jerk to me when we go back to our classes." I look down at the covers and pick at a frayed string.

"What?" They both look confused.

"Nothing." I lie. "You two don't have to babysit me all night, I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself." I say mockingly, rapidly losing my patience.

"Whoa, a feisty one over here!" Korbin exclaims, feignining fear as he throws his hands to either side of his face in a way in which to say 'I surrender'.

"No worries, princess. Ross is actually pulling up the driveway right now." He continues, looking out the window to my right. I follow his gaze and, sure enough, a car I've never seen before parks. A shadowy figure jumps out the passenger side and the car honks two times.

"Well, that's our cue." Smith sighs, patting his knees before getting up. They walk over to Tessa's door and open it. They turn around and smile at me.

Smith sees me and I guess something in my facial expression immediately makes him come over to give me a hug. I'm taken aback at first and Korbin soon joins, the two boys nearly crushing me. They still scare me, no doubt, but something about having them here makes me feel a million times better.

They pull back and Smith ruffles my hair like an older brother would and says,"We'll see you around, kid." Something about it scares me. I don't want to get involved in any of this, I already have plenty on my plate. So, I smile and wave, knowing that as soon as Ross comes in I'm going to tell him to never talk to me again. I might even change my literature class if I have to.

They close the door behind them and I take a deep, shaky breath, be racing myself for when Ross comes through the same door. I glance over to Tessa to see her drooling all over the covers. I laugh slightly, but it sounds odd, like I'm choking. I stare out the window and two more figures hop in, Smith and Korbin, before it peels out of the driveway, making an awful loud screeching sound, and drives away. I furrow my eyebrows. How is Ross going to get home? He sure as hell isn't staying _here_.

I hear the quiet click of a shutting door and my eyes snap in the direction. Just as I expected, it's Ross. I glare at him and he shifts uncomfortably.

"What do _you _want?" I spit.

"To apologize." He says, moving closer.

"Don't come near me!" I protest.

He immediately stills, hurt masking his features. There's a silence and it seems as though he's looking for the right words, but I beat him to it.

"Why are you even here." I snap and he opens his mouth to answer, but I continue before he can. "You hate me."

"Hate you?! Who ever said that?!" He looks shocked.

"No one ever said it, but it was implied. You're always so rude to me, then you're nice to me in a way to, like, make me let my guard down or something, and then you do it all over again. And then, tonight. You were rude to me for the short time that we spoke and then you left and got in a fight. So clearly, it's unhealthy to be near you in any way." I explain

His jaw clenches and his hands ball themselves into fists, then he relaxes and moves closer again.

"What the fuck did I just say?! GET AWAY FROM ME!" I yell.

"No!" He yells back, sitting by me on the bed. I shrink back against the headboard, getting as far away from him as possible.

"I'm so sorry for putting you in danger, Jules. I really am, I can't even describe how sorry I am. But you need to know that you shouldn't be scared of me."

"And why is that." I say incredulously.

"Because, I would never hurt you." He looks so broken, like he can't bear the thought of me being afraid of him. "I always want my enemies to be scared of me. And even though I treat you badly most of the time, you're not my enemy. We're not enemies. I'd even like to be..."

I stare at him expectantly.

"Friends." I can't deny my slight irrational disappointment, but I'm glad he wants to be friends with me. But being friends could add even more undesired danger to my life. I can't give this up though...

"Let me think about it." I say, careful not to let any emotion into my voice.

•~•~•~•~•

I wake up the next morning feeling empty, like I'm not real. I feel as though I'm a hollow log, sitting around waiting to be broken down by the world around me. Ross left last night and I have to go home soon. I know the second I step in my door I will be punished. The images alone of my own torturous imagination are far too much to bear in my fragile state, so I just stare out the window of Tessa's dorm room, replaying memories of last night.

_"... I'd even want to be... Friends."_

I shake my head. We could never be friends, for multiple reasons.

He's dangerous. More than dangerous, actually.

We can't go a day without fighting.

I can't stand being around him, but I can't stay away from him for some reason I don't understand. That practically spells out 'unhealthy' right there.

Besides. Thinking back on it, he didn't say what I wanted him to. It just wasn't enough for me to accept it. He said he was sorry for putting me in danger, but asks me to be friends, putting me into even _more_ danger?! If he really cared about me in the way that would make me trust him, then he'd tell me to stay away. Maybe he just doesn't care at all and wants me to be in danger? Maybe he hates me just that much? But then I think back on what he said also, about not having to be scared of him. The way he said it made me believe there was something behind the words. It sounded as though he was saying I didn't have to be scared of _anything, _saying he would protect me from both of our enemies.

_"...We're not enemies..."_

I don't know what to think about that. I don't want to associate myself with him in any way even more than before now, but I definitely don't want to be the enemy of a, I cringe as I think the word, _gang_ member. The thought brings a million questions to mind.

What kind of things is his gang doing?

Who were those men in black at the party?

What did they want with Ross?

Was it even Ross that they were after?

Are there cops after Ross at this very moment?

... Has Ross killed before?

I shudder at picture in my head. _I'm in the corner of a dark room lit by one beam of moonlight. I look up and realize there's a huge hole in the roof displaying the full moon up above. Everything not lit fades into black nothingness, except for two teens on the opposite corner. Smith and Korbin._ _Ross beating a man within an inch of his life, smirking down at him as he stands back up, kicking him once more. Taking in his bloodied entirety with satisfaction as he presses the barrel of the gun into the man's temple. He's too frightened and weak to even say anything, and if he did it would be a desperate plead_ asking _Ross to end his life_.

Tears stream down my face and I sob into my pillow, clasping my hands over my ears and kicking around to try and stop it.

_He begs Ross to do it with his eye that's left after the beating and Ross shakes his head. "Too easy." I'm not sure if he means it's too easy for him to pull the trigger, making it not amusing for him, or if it's too easy of a way for the man to get out of suffering. He gestures for Korbin to bring him something and the teen obliges, handing over a small pocket-knife-looking thing. He presses a small button and the blade flips up almost instantaneously._

My chest is heaving up and down at a rapid pace and I feel sweat drip down my brow as I thrash about and try my hardest to suppress the screams that threaten to surface at the sick trick my mind is playing on me.

_His evil smirk doesn't leave his lips as he stalks forward at an agonizingly slow pace, drawing on each second, every step, every breath. Almost as if he is enjoying it, savoring the moment while it lasts. He kneels down before the man, who is older than him and probably has a family waiting for him at home. I wonder hopelessly if they will see him again. "I won't let you die, I have a message for you to give him." Ross sneers. "In fact, let me write it down... So you don't forget." He leans forward and I feel sick to my stomach as he useto the knife to carve the words into the man's face. He screams louder than I ever thought possible as the words "SEE WHAT I CAN DO?!" are permanently etched into his aging face._

I squirm under the covers, trying to get out of the bed. Once I finally fall out, I plop onto the floor, and on my knees I gasp for air as I sob_._

_He's the devil, I swear. "Take this bastard away, to him." Who's 'him'? I wonder in terror. I choke on my own breath as the monster in front of me turns before facing me. His lips curl up in a sadistic smile. "You're next, Jules."_

And with that, I rush out of the room to the bathroom across the hallway, emptying my stomach into the toilet.

He's right, I _am_ next, aren't I? He's going to ruin me like he ruined the man from my imagination.

I wish I could stay away.

**(P.S. I GOT AN ASK FM (find the URL on my profile)! Ask it UP XD)**


	11. Chapter 11-Friends

**(Hello everyone! I'm still looking for a program for a trailer but I'm thinking I'd like to have one of you make it! Or if you know someone who makes good trailers could you ask them to help me? You can PM me if you want to make it and we'll see where it goes from there. I just REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get this fic out there, you know? Favorite/follow/review! Enjoy the story, lovelies!)**

11

This morning, a friend of Ross' snuck around the investigators surrounding the sorority house and dropped off my car for me. I was so relieved, I needed to get back 'home' after all this madness. I was ready to face what I had coming.

I wince at the loud noise of the engine combined with the noise of the tires against the long driveway. I get out and hurry to the door, picking my keys out of my jeans familiar click sounds and I open the door.

As soon as I'm inside, my head is slammed against the wall with a crushing force.

I lose my balance and scream as I feel the warm, sticky liquid pour out the side of my head. I barely catch myself in time to save my head from falling onto the marble floor. I feel a sharp pulling in my wrists followed by horrible stinging. I can barely flex them and I know they're at least sprained from the impact of the fall. On my hands and knees, I tremble and take my hand to the side of my throbbing skull. It comes back with my blood smeared on my fingertips.

"Look at me, whore!" His familiar voice booms around me, causing the pain in my head to intensify. My hearing is muffled and it feels like I'm swimming underwater. I turn slowly, cautious to not fall over.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER MY CALLS?!" His boot swings back and hurtles into my stomach before I can say anything. I gasp loudly, grasping my stomach and struggling to breathe as tears run freely down my face.

"I-I..." I try to form a coherent sentence, but it comes out as a string of unintelligible mumbles and gagging noises. My throat aches and is completely dry, and I can't get any sound to come out of it.

"ANSWER ME!" He says, stalking forward swiftly before grabbing a fist full of my hair and yanking me back to look him in the eyes. Every follicle on my head screams to be released and my throat and head hurt so bad I can't even think straight. I can barely see his menacing snake-like green eyes but I can tell that they're full of anger, hatred, and evil. So much evil.

He sees the fear and panic in my eyes and smirks, reeling his fist back. I squeal like a pig and cover my face out of reflex. Instead of hitting my blocking arms like I expected, his fist hits the place he just struck with his boot. I scream as loud as I possibly can, but I know that nothing will come of it. Robby soundproofed the entire house. I clutch my stomach in agony, and I barely catch the words that leave his lips.

"Your face is the only part of you that I won't touch." He says into my ear. I shiver and I can't even move from all the pain in my body. With that, he grips my wrists in his hands and hoists me up. Searing pain shoots through the damaged joints and if I had the energy I would scream instead of whimper. My feet dangle a few inches above the ground before he sets me on them. My legs almost give out from under me and the throbbing all over my body is unbearable. I look behind me and realize that he threw my head into the entryway mirror. I have no clue if I have small shards of it in my head or not. My eyes widen and I feel like throwing up. If my stomach wasn't empty then I'm sure I would.

"You're going to regret that little stunt you pulled." He says menacingly. "When I'm done with you, you'll wish you were dead." I whimper as he pulls me by my now bruised and injured wrist down the hallway. There's a few steps that lead down into the lowered living room and he pushes me down them, catapulting me forward to fall onto my hands once again. There's a sickening crunching sound and I scream so lhurt that I start to cough afterwards. Now I _know_ I've broken something.

I hear his boots steps echo off the marble behind me and he grabs my shoulder and digs his fingers in so hard I know they're already starting to bruise and he spins me around. I lose my balance once again and I'm sitting up, barely able to prop myself up with my injured arms. He stomps in my left calf and I start seeing stars. I can't even scream anymore, it comes out as a weak rasp. He kicks the exact spot one more time before spitting on the carpet next to me, barely missing my thigh, and turning around. "Go to your room, you little slut!" His voice dripping with evil.

I sob to myself for the next thirty minutes before realizing that if he comes back and sees me in the same spot he left me, I really will be in danger. I go at a snail's pace, using the leather couch to prop myself up into a standing position using my elbows, since it felt like my forearms, specifically my wrists, had been ripped off. Eventually I'm standing.

I struggle to walk, skipping from one piece of furniture to the next for support. After about an hour, I finally reach the stairs. I'm grateful that Robby hasn't walked back in yet. He's probably downing that expensive scotch he keeps in his liquor cabinet. What a jackass.

With each step I advance up the stairs, I bite my tongue. It takes every fiber of willpower in me to not cry out in pain every time I move my left leg. He was right, I do wish I was dead.

•~•~•~•~•

I didn't sleep one wink all weekend, as much as every part of my body begs for it. I think I have a concussion, and I think I heard somewhere that you just have to stay awake for the next 24 hours after it happens, I don't want to take any chances, knowing if I'm wrong I could go into a coma. I can't see for shit, I have a huge migraine that every slight bit of light intensifies, and I can't think or stay focused on anything. My body feels dead from all the pain and aching combined with the lack of sleep, but at the same time the pain tells me that I'm still alive. This isn't a nightmare. This isn't hell. This is both of those things, except in my world. This is a waking nightmare, a living hell.

I did sleep in yesterday, which was Monday, because I couldn't fight the need for sleep any longer. I slept all day, so I missed all of my classes, only adding to my stress. I woke up this morning and the sleep did wonders, but I still limp when I walk and all of the pain is still there. I get dressed in some leggings, Ugg boots and a gray CSU hoodie. I curl the ends of my hair and apply a little bit of eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss. I can't let people know that something's wrong by looking like shit. I put the lip gloss in my bag just in case I need it later. I walk into the bathroom and wrap my wrists with gauze to keep them from moving around as much and slide the sleeves to my hoodie over them, thankful that the sleeves conceal most of the gauze.

The drive to campus feels longer than usual. I probably need my head stitched up and my wrists and leg probably need casts but God knows I can't go to a hospital, so I just need to tough it out. I need to go to work tonight anyways. No matter what happens I'm always getting deeper and deeper. I don't know how much longer I can take this, will I ever be okay? I called my family last night and that eased some of the hurt, but I still have no clue what I'm doing.

I haven't talked to Tess since the night I stayed in her room. I don't know what to say. And I don't want to talk to anyone as it is.

I go through all my classes without saying a word, except Science. My Professor kept calling on me to answer questions, I swear he hates me.

When time comes around for Literature, I start feeling a little better. I walk through campus trying to sort out my messy binder and smiling like a maniac for no reason whatsoever. I'm beginning to scare myself, am I going crazy? Maybe.

I push the doors open and scan the room. Mr. Mathers is the only one here, I must be really early. I shrug and take my seat in the middle of the front row, organizing my binder until it's perfectly sorted out. I put it on my lap in case I need it and the door opens again. I look up and I can't help the smile that creeps up to my lips when I see the familiar guy who I swore was an angel when I first met him. He returns it, which is odd but nice since he never smiles, and comes to sit next to me. When he sits down his frown return and my smile drops.

"Why weren't you here yesterday?"

Just the question I was hoping he wouldn't ask.

My face must've given off some of my panic, because he says my name sternly, waiting for an answer. Thankfully, I compose myself and decide to act playful.

"What, were you looking for me?" I smirk.

His eyes go wide and he swallows. He coughs slightly before answering a quiet, "Maybe." My heart flutters, he didn't want me to hear that, but I did.

I find confidence in his lack of. "I was sick." I lie, shrugging.

"Oh." He looks like he wants to say something, but he bites his tongue and looks ahead, avoiding my eyes.

"So have you decided?" He asks, pushing a pencil back and forth between his fingers on his desk.

My brow furrows in puzzlement. "What?"

"Do you think we could be friends?" He rephrases.

I had admittedly been contemplating that question all weekend, and I decided to give it a shot. If I think it's a bad idea later on, I can just avoid him for the rest of the year. I'm sure it'll be easy enough.

"Well, we're not enemies," I start. He smiles when he recognizes his words from a few days ago, before it goes back to his frown. "So we might as well be friends."

His face lights up and he faces me. "That's a yes?" He asks, dumbfounded.

I nod ad the simple action caused the biggest smile that I've ever seen him make adorn his lips. It's strange, but nice. A warm feeling spreads through me, making me forget my injuries, at the knowledge that I'm the cause of such a sight.


	12. Chapter 12-Fake

**(HIII EVERYONE! Guess what?! THIS STORY HAS 2,000 VIEWS! YAAAAAYYYY I'VE NEVER HAD A STORY WITH THIS MANY VIEWS OMGOMGOMGOMG XD I can't believe it this is so amazing! EVEN MORE AMAZING THAN ROSS LYNCH'S ABS XD... 0.o ok never mind nothing is as amazing as that... And I just made it awkward :/ HAHAHA anyways enjoy the story and don't forget to favorite and follow and review! SPREAD THE LOVE *hugs*)**

12

Class doesn't drag on for once, thanks to Ross. I almost wish it would have, so that I could have more time with his impressive humor and dazzling eyes. I know in the back of my mind, in a dark place I have refused to acknowledge, that what I feel for Ross is much more than friendship. But there are a million different reasons why he can never know. Once I tell him, he can hurt me. I can't deny my feelings if I admit them, and if he rejects me it will just kill me. Which is sort of why I just want to be friends, so I can be with him without all of the pressure of _being_ with him.

When we're dismissed, I can see the surprise of Mr. Mathers' face and I know he's shocked that Ross hasn't had one outburst the entire class period. I stand out of my chair and Ross waits for me, standing next to my desk and trying to stay patient as I grab my things. Once I scoop up everything, I look up to him and smile slightly before walking beside him out the door.

"So, now that we're friends," Ross begins, slinging an arm around my shoulders, sending chills up and down my spine. "We should hang out."

And arrogant Ross is back.

I take his arm off of me to stop myself from blushing at the familiar fire and to calm my nerves.

"W-When?" I almost facepalm when my voice fails me and I stutter. Damn Ross and his attractive...everything.

"I was thinking we could see a movie tonight?"

We get to my car and I open the door, only for Ross to shut it in my face before I can get in. Like I was going to while he was talking to me.

I glare at him for his childishness and he just smirks. I roll my eyes, now he's starting to annoy me.

People walk by us, going every direction to get to their cars. When they see Ross with me they all whisper, and it all mixes together, making the sound of unintelligible murmuring surround us. It's quite suffocating, to be honest, but I don't really mind that. What I mind is the way Ross' mood has shifted once again.

It seems that we're back to square one.

Well, that didn't take very long.

I open my door back up and climb in, muttering a, "I have plans, no thanks."

I try to close the door but he grabs it, stopping it from shutting and pulling it wide open. "Would you stop that?!" I yell at him.

"Not until you say you'll see a movie with me." He smirks.

"No!"

"Hm, then I guess you're not going anywhere"

"I'll drive away right now and drag you with me, if I have to."

"Then do it." His smirk turns challenging.

I scowl into his dark hazel orbs for a minute, trying to force myself to go through with it, or at least make him think I am so he'll let go. I start my car slowly, my eyes not leaving his. His smile gets wider and it actually shows his teeth for once when I scream in frustration, knowing I can't do it. What if I hurt him? The thought is as heartbreaking as murdering innocent puppies, though I know he's much more dangerous than he seems.

"I really do have plans tonight." I say truthfully, staring at him a little longer than necessary. I don't want to look away, he's so perfect it's hypnotic.

His eyebrows lower, taking his piercing with it. The sun shimmers off of it and I feel my heart rate quicken. I gulp as he studies my facial features.

"With who?" Why is he always so invasive? Why is he always concerned about who I'm around?!

"Is that really your business?" I ask rhetorically, raising an eyebrow at him.

His face twist in anger and it's almost scary. I sink back in my seat, images of Friday's party playing in my head. I feel scared out of my mind, and I'm sick to my stomach.

"Forget it then!" He yells, slamming the door in my face and stomping away in fury. I can only manage to stare at him in utter confusion as he storms away.

•~•~•~•~•

I work my way up to the front door, and each step is agony. Eventually I make it to the door and unlock it before stumbling inside. The mirror has been replaced and all the shards from when Robby slammed my head into it are cleaned up. It's also been replaced, and my blood was washed off the floor, there's still a faint smell of bleach in the air. The only evidence. It's almost as if I'd imagined it all. If it weren't for all of my aching injuries, I would think I imagined it all. I feel ill.

I walk into the kitchen and Cindy is in there prepping the other girls. I don't even flinch when I see their sickly, prominent bones jutting out from their skin. I'm too drained to even worry about how these women are treated as animals instead of humans.

"Oh, there you are," She says distantly, handing me a barely-there outfit. "It's almost time to leave, get dressed and I'll do your hair and makeup."

A few hours later I'm standing on the side of the road, one of the main ones, but since it's so late hardly any cars pass, so I don't have to worry about cops. All of the creeps are out right now, and since the sun isn't out it's getting really cold. It feels even colder because I'm barely wearing anything. The tight clothes are just like scraps of leather wrapped around me.

A gust of chilling air flys by, and I can feel the goosebumps rising on my skin immediately. A couple of cars pas by, but no one slows down. I groan in frustration and sit on a gross bus stop bench that somehow managed to get greasy. I cringe and cross my legs, pulling my phone out. It's half three in the morning.

Out the corner of my eye, I see the bright shine of a headlight. Sighing, I pull myself up and walk to the edge of the sidewalk. It comes closer by the second, choking a speed that is surely illegal. I roll my eyes. Just because there's no cops doesn't mean there are no street cameras. What a moron.

When it's just about 100 yards down the road I realize that it's noticeably familiar. I try to place it, but I can't. It's on the tip of my tongue. Now it's zooming closer and it's five feet to my left. As it bolts forward, passing me, I look through the tinted window and my heart nearly stops at the familiar face staring back at me for a millisecond. I hardly get to see him, as the car was only there for a fraction of a second, but there's no way I could misplace that halo of bright golden hair and bushy brown eyebrows. My heart pounds against my chest as the car continues to speed down the road. He saw me.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck he saw me!_

I want to scream, he actually saw me. Ross saw me when he was riding in that same car that dropped him off after that part last Friday. I feel sick and I run to hide behind the bushes behind the bench, even though I know the car isn't going to come back. How could I be so stupid? How could I not recognize it sooner so that I could've run and hid before he saw me?! I half expect all my hair to fall out with all the stress built up inside of me.

I contemplate all of the questions in my head, walking back around to the front of the bench once more and I start pacing. He probably didn't even see me, that car was going at least 85. But then again, he made eye contact with me and _I_ could tell who _he_ was. But his face wasn't horrified or confused, it just held a monotonous gaze as he looked at me for that fraction of a second. I have no clue!

What if he _did_ realize that it was me?

My heart hammers uncontrollably in my chest. What if he reports me to the police?!

No, no, would Ross really do that? Is he really the type of person who would tell someone's secrets? I have no fucking idea. All I know is that if tells a soul I'll be done for. My family will starve and I will have to drop out of college. If he tells anybody then my whole life will be ruined. But he doesn't know that. Maybe he would think it was in my best interests? I laugh at the thought. Like he even cares about me. The way he talked to me earlier was just like always, even though we're "friends" now. Though I'm guessing the only reason he's giving me that little bit of niceness is that he just wants to keep me around, as his punching bag. So that he can say hurtful things to make me never want to see him again and then compliment me in ways that make me never want to leave. And then take it all back. It's like a sick game of cat and mouse, him and I.

I scream out frustration, shaking my fists in the air while looking up at the sky. "Why do you do this to me?!" I shout at the stars. Anyone within two blocks of me will be able to hear it, but I don't care. I can't keep doing this, he's making my life more complicated than it already is just by interacting with me and I can't let go of him. It's in his smile, in his sparkling eyes, in the way he makes me feel alive again. This pressure is going to crush me.

Just as I let a hopeless tear escape my waterline, a car pulls up. I compose myself and walk over to the raggedy green cadillac, which looks as if it's going to collapse in on itself at any moment, with the smuggest expression I can muster. It's all fake of course. The smile I have plastered on now, the sex I will have later, this city, my hope that it will all change, Ross' seemingly caring nature towards me getting hurt... And my entire life. It's a lie. It's all fake.

**(What do you guys think?! Will Ross tell people about her?! Did he even see her?! What will happen next, do you think?! COMMENT XD)**


	13. Chapter 13-Lovers And Madmen

**(Hello, everyone! :) Long time, no see! Sorry it took so long! Life's been pretty hectic lately since 3 of my teachers thought it would be funny to give me projects due on the SAME EXACT DAY on TOP of HOMEWORK! GAW!... So this chapter is basically just Ross' POV of last chapter, starting off at the end of their little argument in the beginning of chapter 12, because Rossy's up to something interesting *wink, wink* As always, don't forget to REVIEW! And if you haven't already, then FAVORITE and FOLLOW as well? THANK YOU FOR READING! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING! LOADS OF LOVE!)**

13

"Lovers and madmen have such seething brains

Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend

More than cool reason ever comprehends."

-William Shakespeare, _A Midsummer Night's Dream_

•~•~•~•~•

Ross' POV

By the time I get home, I feel like taking a chainsaw to everything I see. She's out with a guy, I can feel it. The thought alone makes me lose it, I'd kill anyone who even so much as tried to touch her and she goes out with some bastard?! 'I really do have plans', she said...

How could she, even?! She's mine, all fucking mine!

I knew if she was here she'd yell at me for thinking that. And that knowledge adds to my fury. I'm livid, absolutely fucking _livid _because of her.

I get out of my car and slam the door, the violent action making the vehicle wobble back and forth. I'm surprised that the glass doesn't shatter from the force I put behind it. Sauntering forward to the run-down apartment building were I live, I can't get her face out of my head as rage courses through my veins.

_What the fuck is happening to me?! _

I feel helpless. I tried to hate her. I tried to despise her with every fiber of my being, I want nothing more than to be able to do just that. But I can't. And that pisses me off even fucking more. Every time I get another fleeting image in my mind of her beauty, I feel myself unable to hate her, unable to stop myself from wishing she was with me, not anybody else.

I wish I could hold her, kiss her, feel her skin on mine...

_Fuck! _

I slam my fist into the brick wall, breathing heavily.

I hate the goosebumps that rise on my flesh when I picture her. Fuck, why am I even picturing her?!

I scratch at the tingling tissue on my arms, but it doesn't make the feeling go away. What the fuck is this?! I can't steady my heartbeat or the fluttering feeling inside my stomach, is this what they mean when they say that cheesy-ass 'butterflies in my stomach'?! FUCK, I hate this.

No matter how hard I try to be rid of it, all I can feel is these strange, horrifying feelings I don't know how to describe.

_God dammit, I'm going insane!_

I punch the wall again and again and again, feeling the knuckles rip open and blood trickle down my hands, but I can't stop. I've lost all my self-control in this moment. Eventually the pain becomes too much as the adrenaline wears off and I clutch my fists to my chest as I groan in pain. Finally, I get the relief I need and I can focus on something other than that fucking infuriating, but beautiful girl that haunts my every thought.

What's happening to me?!

I'm still seeing red, I'm so pissed and I can't get my shit together, even as I walk up through the doors of the elevator into my apartment.

•~•~•~•~•

I get a shower and wash my bloody knuckles, picking out the bits of gravel that got in from punching the crumbling brick outside and wrapping them up, feeling much calmer. With only a towel wrapped around my hips, I walk into my room and over to my dresser, pulling open the first drawer and taking out a pair of boxers. Discarding the towel, I pull the cloth on and try to focus on the rock music I have playing quietly on my nightstand. I ruffle my hair, splattering water all around the room carelessly. I'm just about to grab a comb and brush my hair when I hear the sound of my front door being thrown open and male voices yelling all around.

Stopping dead in my tracks, my heart beats erratically, the addictive adrenaline coursing through me once again. I welcome it as I listen carefully, creeping silently over to the nightstand where I keep my handgun. I know they'll know someone is home, whoever they were. I left the TV on.

There's shouting and sounds of people rushing about, like they're looking for something. I swear to God, if they touch any of my shit I'll kill them... Whoever they are. I pick up my gun and walk silently over to my bedroom door, opening it and sneaking towards the source of the noise, the living room.

All the noise continues and I jump bravely around the corner, aiming the gun towards the intruders. I nearly pull the trigger, until I realize that it's Danny, Korbin, Smith and Drew, a 15-year-old from Chicago who just got through his initiations. I've heard many things about how intense and brilliant Drew is, so it surprises me to see him clutching his bloody side and howling in pain on my couch. I lower my weapon immediately.

"What the fuck?!" I exclaim.

"Ross! Thank God!" Smith praises. I put my gun down and rush forward to the injured kid's side.

"What happened?!" The sight of Drew writhing in pain on my couch is sickening. I realize they must've been looking for my first-aid kit, and I run into my bathroom before they can reply and pick it up from the counter where I had just wrapped my knuckles minutes before. I run back into the living room and hurriedly set it on the coffee table, running a bandaged hand through my knotted, soaking hair and yelling at the guys to take Drew's shirt off so that I can help him.

"It was Carlos and them this time," I am relieved that Charlie has nothing ti do with this, I'm in no shape to deal with him at the moment. "They thought they'd get a kick out of raidin' our headquarters, leavin' us runnin' 'round screamin' with no idea what hit us. But we're not fuckin' stupid, we know it was him. And we know they took Danny's sister Mikayla." Korbin hurriedly explains.

Anger floods my senses once more.

_Those fucking bastards!_

"Well what happened to Drew?!"

"One of theirs threw a grenade by him and a piece of the wall or something was hurled into his side." Smith says worriedly. My eyes widen.

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, and we think he has a broken leg."

"Fuck, this kid's been through hell." I mutter as I try to carefully clean the blood as quickly as I can. He keeps squirming, making it too difficult.

"STAY STILL!" I yell in panic, but I know he probably can't hear me from the amount of pain I know he is feeling. "Guys, get me the chloroform and a rag!" Danny rushes to get a rag while Korbin grabs the small bottle filled with the clear chemical and hands it to me. Danny runs back in and tosses the rag. I quickly pour the chloroform on the rag and hold it over Drew's nose and mouth until his body goes slack. Now that he's not squirming, I clean as much blood as I can but it just keeps oozing out. I groan in frustration, I have to get the debris out before I do that, or he's going to bleed to death.

I dig inside the wound, moving my fingers around in the flesh, searching for the peice of drywall or whatever. Smith has to leave the room, as the sight is really gruesome. Eventually I get it out and stitch up the gaping hole. I quickly clean it and pull out some cotton, placing it all on the wound and wrapping it tightly with gauze.

"Will he be alright?" Danny asks with sadness in his eyes. I shrug.

"He's lost a lot of blood." It's true, my couch is now soaked with the warm red liquid.

I wrap his leg in many layers of gauze, then get some metal rods and place them on the sides of his knee, wrapping up the leg even more tightly so that he won't be able to move it and risk another rupture to the already broken bone. I tap the makeshift and it's hard as a rock. A job well done. I get up and go into the hallway, walking towards my room.

Smith is leaning against the wall and looks up at me. "It's done," I say. "You can go back in." He nods.

"Make sure he gets plenty of water, he's lost a lot of blood." I say. He nods again, walking back into the living room. Once I'm back into my room I put on a black pair of skinny jeans, black Converse, a white t-shirt and a dark hoodie. I grab my keys and head back into the living room. I walk across the room, I'm halfway across when Danny asks, "Where are you going?"

"To talk to the guys and get our revenge." I answer frankly, fury boiling just underneath my distant and blunt tone.

"I'm coming." He says with determination in his eyes, standing up from his seat on my other couch.

"Me, too." Smith speaks up, following suit. Korbin stands as well and that's all the confirmation I need.

"Okay then," I say, grabbing my pistol from where I set it down to deal with Drew. "But you better not slow me down."

The boys and I smirk darkly before strolling out of the house, ready to give Charlie King's boys the biggest ass-kicking of their lives.

•~•~•~•~•

Danny and I keep our heads down and hoods up, walking swiftly through the crowd with scowls on our faces and hatred in our hearts. I clutch my pistol under my clothes, getting ready to do the job at hand. It's unusually cold for L.A, and I can tell it's getting closer to winter because it feels like my hands were burning from the cold, as contradicting as that is. Oh fucking well, I'm used to the contradictory, the love-hate relationship I have with the grotesque beauty of my life.

"It's just up ahead." Mutters Danny, glaring at our final destination. The evil glint in his eye matches mine as we stalk forward to the rundown shack that is the secret hideout of some of Carlos Russo's boys, where they guard and interrogate hostages before sending them off to God knows where. Probably to their death.

There's armored vehicles to our left and right, with secretly stashed snipers, grenades, machine guns, and our people inside.

They want a game? Well, let's play.

Our boys lay back, blending in with the rest of the world, but ready to attack if necessary.

We sneak along in the shadows, the sun is going down, making it much easier. Keeping to the darkness, we saunter forward under the twilight moon's glow. Soon we're nearly at level with the front entrance. There's only a couple street lamps helping the lighting, shining down on the small shack and two burly men slouched on the ground, appearing to be homeless so they won't look too conspicuous if a cop were to drive by.

We walk over to the side of the disgusting building, and there's a huge fence blocking it off. It must be at least ten feet tall. I look up the chain links and at the very top there are swirls of barbed wire and sharp prongs sticking out the top of it. I look down and the chain is kind of loose a where it meets the ground, it must be old. There's no gate or anything to get inside. Danny takes a fist of the metal chain links and tries to pull it up so that we might be able to crawl under, but it only lifts a couple inches.

"No good." He grumbles under his breath.

"We can climb over the top?" I whisper.

"Over the barbed wire." He snaps sarcastically, looking at me in disbelief.

"Worth a shot. Do you wanna get your sister back or not." I bite back.

Something flashes behind his eyes and they soften. The only thing that Danny really cares about is his family, and Mikayla is really all that's left of that.

He doesn't even have to answer, the look of hatred in his eyes is an answer in itself. We don't need words to know exactly what the other is thinking, that's one of the things about this life that I love. Without another word, I grip the chain in both of my hands. Slowly, I lift my left leg into one of the holes. I cringe at the clanking and jingling and immediately still. I listen around, but all I hear is the hard beating of my heart. Sighing in relief, I continue to climb.

Each step feels like it might be the end.

It very well could be.

Minutes pass as I try to achieve the climb silently, and once I'm at the top, I grip the top rod and climb until I'm nearly standing on top of the fence.

_Don't look down..._

_Don't look down..._

_Don't look down..._

"Ross?!" Danny's concerned whisper-yell sounds from below. I nearly jump out of my skin.

I stagger on the rail, feeling myself loose my balance and my blood runs cold in fear. I let out a small yell and my hands fly out to catch myself on something, anything. I grab the only thing I can, which is the barbed wire. The sharp prongs dig in until they are fully lodged in my palm.

_FUCK!_

"_Holy_ fucking _shit_!" I curse in anger at Danny more than the pain in my hand. I've felt much worse but this hurts like hell. My eyes widen, and so do Danny's. what did I just do.

"Did you hear that?!" I hear a male voice in the distance.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

There's a shuffling noise in the distance and the sound of feet crumpling gravel fills the air

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

Danny runs into the shelter of the darkness.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

I don't move, I can't. Literally can't, it's too difficult while trying to get the barbs out of my hand.

The next second, two burly men round the corner. They look up at me flabbergasted.

"What the hell?!"

"How did you get up there?! Get down!"

I roll my eyes. Yeah, that'll work.

"Oh, I was just... checking to make sure theses barbs were as sharp as they look to be." I wince as I move my hand and the barbs sink deeper. "And they are... So..." I nervously laugh. "How's the weather down there?"

Out of nowhere, Danny comes out of the shadows and snaps the man on the left's neck. The one on the right whirls around in shock. "What the-" Danny takes a swing, the one he's famous for, and his fist comes into contact with the guy's face, somehow making me almost able to feel the pain myself. The man falls to the ground and Danny walks over, kneeling down to do the same to the second man.

"Nice." I look down, not even trying to hide that I am impressed.

He almost smiles.

Almost.

I brace myself before ripping the barbs out of my hand in one swift jerking motion. I groan in pain, carefully lifting myself onto the roof before climbing around to the other side. I drop down and my feet land smoothly.

"You know, I honestly thought you left me behind for a second there." I admit.

"Are you kidding? Leave _no_ man behind." I smile.

"Yeah," I laugh slightly. "Now you go knock on the front door."

His scowl returns. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope."

"No, I am not knocking on the front door! Are you crazy?!"

"Oh, just quit being a pussy and knock." I snap, ripping a piece of my shirt off and wrapping my hand with it. I really need to be more careful with my hands.

"No!"

I look him in the eye seriously. "I have a plan. Just do it and distract them, so that I can find Mikayla and the goods."

He considers it, studying my facial expression.

"Fine." He surprises me by giving in. I wait, listening as he knocks on the door.

I hear the creaking of rusty old hinges.

"Danny Hernandez?!" The alarm in the male voice is amusing.

"No, it's the Girl Scouts of America. Wanna buy some fucking thin mints?" I laugh quietly, running around to the back door. I take out a bobby pin and shove it in the lock, jiggling it around until I hear the familiar click. I smile to myself and cautiously push the heavy door open.

Once inside, a million memories play back in my mind, none of which are pleasant.

I cringe at the dark dampness, and in my mind I compare the small nearly black room to the underworld. I look around, getting a sense of where exactly I am in the small building so that I can navigate to where I know they keep the hostages.

Once I remember, I take a right turn. I cringe at the sound of my lone footsteps in the dark corridor. I hear noises all around, the voices of men talking and arguing... And screaming. I feel numb, but I'm thankful that none of the strangled cries are Mikayla's. Danny would be crushed if anything happened to her, and he'd take it out on me, which e wouldn't be good for either one of us.

I come up to the familiar room and surprisingly it's open.

There she is, in the back corner of the room. Hog tied on the floor with blood pouring out her nose. Her hair is a greasy, sweaty mess and dirt is caked all over her skin. Multiple bruises show all over her exposed skin on her arms and neck. My body ignites in anger. What real man would dare lay hands on a woman?! Again, a million flashbacks push their way out of my subconscious but I push them right back.

I run to her side, pulling a bloody knife discarded on the the ground and using it to cut her slip-tie bindings. I pray that the knife is not covered in her blood, but someone else's. Ripping the duct tape off her lips, the little girl gasps in relief, tears coming to her dark eyes as she wraps her arms around me. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable to say the least, but I can't bring myself to push her off.

"Come on," I whisper. "You're going to have to be quick to keep up with me." She nods, eyes full of more sadness and will than any ten year old should have.

We get up and I search the room. None of our shit is here. Frowning, I search the room for anything useful to take with me. I have to be quick, they will come back any second.

All the weapons are too large to bring. There's a large backpack on the table, so I unzip it and to my astonishment it's filled with cocaine and marijuana. Nice. It holds a dirty feeling with it, but I decide to bring it. We can make good money off it. I zip it back up and hand it to the girl. "Take this." I demand.

She surprises me by saying, "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Why the hell not?" I'm getting irritated.

"I have dignity." Ouch.

"Fine, shit. I'll take the damn thing." I grumble, slinging it over my shoulder.

I go around the room, taking anything and everything that will fit in the bag. I see a lot of explosives in here...

My evil brain comes up with a sick plan.

"Stay right here, outta my way." I command. She doesn't protest as I gather the weaponry and pile it on the table in the middle of the room. I'm glad I brought my lighter. When I'm done, the pile is taller than me.

"Okay, out the door! Hurry!" I whisper-yell. She does just that, and I follow her out the partially open door. Looking back into the room, I light my lighter and toss it into the pile.

"GO GO GO!" I don't even bother with the volume of my voice anymore. This whole place is about to come down.

The whole world is going in slow motion as we enter a room filled with enemies. We don't stop running, and I'm sure there's yelling and panic all around but right now I hear nothing. I pull the girl by the arm, and we race through the crowd. They get up, chasing us as we head towards our destination. There's only so much time until that mound of fire erupts on us.

I can see one man in particular catching up, but I dont have time to act on it before he grabs Mikayla from behind. As if on cue, the building comes up in flames, the shock of the explosion knocking me off my feet and caving the roof in.

Danny comes running in through the fire engulfing every wall engulfed in burning heat, making it difficult to breath.

"ROSS?!" There's people screaming, burning all in my ears.

Wait...

Where's Mikayla?!

Men from before dig theme selves out of the burning material and run up, Danny throws punches left and right. Damn, those guys just will not let up. One of them tries it with me, but I grab his fist in midair, twisting it in ways that limbs should never be twisted. Once the satisfying crunch fills my ears, i take advantage of his position and throw him into the crowd. I hear a girl's screaming and I look to see Mikayla under a pile of the ceiling that had come down on top of her. Without a second thought, I sprint to her aid.

She's coughing like mad. Oh my God, she's suffocating. I rush to dig her out of the rubble, feeling so short of breath that it's painful. I finally get her top half out, and use the advantage to just pull her out the rest of the way. The flames are now up against her skin, burning her and I know there will be scars. She screams in blood-curdling agony and I pay out the flames before picking her up and rushing towards Danny. He's still fighting the goons from earlier.

I honestly don't have enough time for this. If Mikayla or I stay much longer we will pass out. So I pull out my gun and fire. The next few seconds are a blur of adrenaline, passing by in mere milliseconds.

_Boom!_

It hits the guy in the middle of his neck, most likely going through his esophagus. He screams before falling to the ground. Dead.

_Boom!_

The bullet punctures the second man's heart and blood flies everywhere as he collapses. I grab Danny by the arm and run, we just reach the door. Dead.

_Boom!_

The third man doesn't even know what hits him, as soon as the bullet goes through his skull the ceiling collapses on top of him. Dead.

I hear sirens in the distance. There isn't much time. Our boys are caught in gunfire with theirs and we rush to the safety of Danny's car.

•~•~•~•~•

I know they're chasing us. Everyone is. So the cops are the least of my worries. I stare out the window feeling completely numb. And incredibly pissed off. Secretly, under the paper-thin layer of strength I feign, I'm scared, but I'd never show it. I refuse.

I'm not weak.

When did this shit become my life? When did I become this monster? Looking back on my past, there's nothing I regret more. I wish I was strong then, like I am now. I just wish I could've been the good kind of strong. The kind of person who is innocent and pure but solid as a rock. But then again, is there such a thing? I seriously doubt it.

Everyone goes through hell eventually. That hell that we go through changes us, taking off the blindfolds of childhood and showing us the real world. It kicks us down, testing us to see how many times we can get back up. It can either make us or break us, even kill us if we're not strong enough.

And that's what happened to me, at such a very young age. I'm just a shell left from my past, hollow and dark on the inside while I appear alive and angry from the outside.

The L.A. street flashes by in front of me as I stare aimlessly out the passenger window. Danny is totally silent next to me for once. I take a peak out the rearview mirror to check and make sure that Mikayla's alright. She's slouched over on her seat, the blankets draped over her as she lightly snores. Her brown hair falls as a dark curtain over her face. All I know at the moment is that that's the toughest kid I've ever met. Like everyone else in this world we live in, she also had to grow up far too quickly. It's so sad that this 10-year-old has seen more death than an undertaker.

"Thank you." My eyes flicker to the quiet words coming from the man sitting next to me. I raise an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You risked your life for her, thank you." This is so foreign, I've never heard Danny say thank you to anyone.

"Don't mention it." I shrug, brushing it off as nicely as I can.

He opens his mouth and I think he's about to speak, but closes it. Then, he opens his mouth once more and mumbles a quiet, "I owe you one."

I roll my eyes and shift in my seat so that I'm facing away from him and glare your the window silently. Minutes seem like hours and finally we're back in the right side of town. Danny takes a deserted back road, and I clutch onto the console to keep myself steady. I swear he got his license from the bottom of a cereal box.

We get further up the road and coming up on my left is an old, unkempt bus stop bench. It looking like Danny might hit it, as he's still swerving all over the place, so I keep my eyes cautiously trained on it. As we get closer and closer, I can make out a figure by the side of the road.

Distance in between us and the bus stop gets swallowed up and I can see it's a girl in nearly no clothing at all. The way it shows off most every inch of her body is strangely unsettling. The tight, shiny material leaves literally nothing to the imagination and I somehow feel like throwing up. Who is that girl? She looks oddly familiar...

Soon I'm right next to her as the car zooms forward, but also seems to be going in slow motion. I can make out blonde hair curled in very tight, unnatural-looking ringlets. There's heels strapped to her feet and so much makeup caked on her face that I can barely see where one if her features ends and another begins. It's a sickening picture, this girl on the side of the road. She is so skinny. _Too_ skinny. She's so thin that her bones are showing. She looks like she might cave in on herself any second. I almost look away out of pity, but when we're close enough I see them. Her eyes. They're wide in fright, the orbs a glowing blue that I would recognize anywhere from every time I so much as close my eyes.

Julia?!

_No! No, it couldn't be!_

_It couldn't be!..._

_It_ _couldn't..._

_Right?!_

_•~•~•~•~•_


	14. Chapter 14-Hollow

**(I seriously revamped this chapter guys, you need to read it again. Sorry!**

**Be sure to follow/favorite... AND REVIEW :) ready, set, GO!**

**ENJOY THE STORY ILY ALL!)**

14

"I have tried to let you go and I cannot. I cannot stop thinking of you. I cannot stop dreaming about you."

-Erin Morgenstern, _The Night Circus_

_•~•~•~•~•_

Julia's POV

I'm sitting in a grey room. The walls are padded and empty of decoration.

What's going on?

I look around, but I am totally alone. I go to get up, but I'm suddenly restrained. Looking down, I see I'm wrapped up tightly in a cream colored jacket to where I can't move my arms.

A straightjacket.

I tug and struggle like a cockroach on its back, but I can't get free. Tears start to form in my eyes and I scream out.

"Help, HELP!" I kick the walls of the room that seems to be getting smaller, and smaller.

All of a sudden, I feel as if I'm not alone. I turn slowly in the direction of the presence.

I gasp at the sight of him, that familiar flutter of electricity that I could never describe returns. His golden hair shimmers in the dim light, his eyes are hollow and emotionless.

"Ross, what's going on w-?"

A group of people appear out of thin air before him. There's an evil smirk on the face of each one. They're dressed in all black, with features resembling actual demons.

Out of the center rises the red-skinned one. He comes out supernaturally out of the ground. When he comes to full height, he's at least three times as big as the tallest demon. Black smoke flows out around him, burning my nostril with the stench of death.

He looks like Satan.

He steps forward, not once looking my way as he walks forward through the crowd and up to Ross. He starts speaking words that are not his own. I somehow know they are from the Holy Bible.

"'You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain.  
You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.'"

His demonic voice echoes off the walls, mockingly referencing words of righteousness as he gets closer. I hate the way he saunters forward, like a predator stalking his prey.

Ross laughs dryly.

"'The murderer rises with the light; He kills the poor and needy;  
and in the night he is like a thief.'"

There is a deafening silence before the beast chuckles."And what exactly have I stolen from you?"

"You know god damn well what." Ross answers through gritted teeth.

"Oh, but say the words."

"You took... Her." He lowers his head, tears dripping onto the floor. My heart stops.

"You're a monster..." He cries, looking up with hatred in his eyes. "You're the devil, Charlie!"

"And so are you."

"No! No I'm not, not anymore! I've changed!"

I can hear the haunting smirk on his face. "No, that's where you're wrong. You haven't changed one bit. You never did."

"Yes I-" Ross starts, only to be cut off.

"I'm not the devil here. You are, Ross. It is who you are...'You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.'"

The devil, Charlie's, fingers touch Ross, causing Ross' face to twist in agony. His body trembles violently. Spasms rock his body as blood pours from his face. He doesn't even scream, he doesn't need to. All the pain that he could express is showing darkly in his eyes.

He finally looks at me, blood dripping out his eyes, nose, mouth and ears. Just as the only blood left drips from his body, he whispers, "I'm sorry..."

He collapses in a heap on the floor and I finally find my voice, shrieking on the top of my lung. and muffling Charlie's dark laugh.

•~•~•~•~•

I wake up with a gasp. I can't breathe as I tumble out of bed and run to the bathroom to throw up.

When I'm done, I brush my teeth to relieve myself of the taste. What was that about? I can't help but think it was all nonsense. Who is Charlie? The name is slightly familiar, but I can't place it...

Ross was spouting such jibberish, and then... Charlie and him were talking about how Ross was 'the devil', but he thought he changed? My brain is rattling, so I take an Aspirin to dull the pain. They say that dreams can be gateways to the truth, editing out all the details blinding us from seeing it in our consciousness... Can that really be true?

Because I've been getting dreams like this, horrifying and confusing, ever since the night Ross saw me...

The thought sickens me. It's been so long... Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. All 9 days passed by at a snail's pace. Ross hasn't been to school at all for all of the three days, and the emptiness hits me like a tidal wave. It's back to what it was like before I met him. I'm so confused by him. By myself. Do I love him? Do I hate him? I can't make up my mind. I know i hardly know him, and I shouldnt feel either one for him yet, but I do. It's so strange, like my answer changes every five minutes; like I want to throw him off a cliff, then rush to the bottom to catch him. Right now, the answer is:I have no fucking clue, all I know is I miss him.

I'm passed being confused and now I'm just worried and alone. What if something bad's happened to him? Earlier this month I would've guessed that he was just ignoring me because of our fight earlier but now I feel like it might have something to do with his involvement with that gang. When I saw him in that car it was going way too fast, like they were either chasing someone or running from something. I hope he's okay, because I'm not. I'm slowly deteriorating inside and I have no clue why. Have you ever felt like you were just falling into a pit of despair, too far gone to STAP anything?...

The Night Angel party that Robby's been planning all year has been delayed. Again. He's getting so frustrated about it that he keeps coming home drunk and violent. I know that if the party doesn't go as planned for him, then he'll be in huge debt. He's put so much time and effort and money into this that if those people aren't impressed... I don't know what will happen to him. A smile almost appears at the thought of him not being able to pay those powerful, menacing men back. He'll get beaten within and inch of his life.

_Good. I hope he_ does _die_.

My harsh thoughts and bitterness consume me even more when I try to get up to the take a shower before I go out to eat with Tessa and I have to slow down because I can barely move my injured leg. It was broken, just as I suspected. I went to a doctor last Thursday, the pain was just too much to bear. It's all stiffness and pain and the doctor said that that was because the bones weren't healing right. So now I have to keep the cast on even longer than I would've had to if I went to the doctor right as it happened.

At first, my heart was in my throat when I knew I had to go. I told them I fell down the stairs. They didn't question my bruises, because that explained them. They weren't able to see the gash on the side of my head because it's covered by my hair. I thought about bringing it up so that it could be stitched, but decided against it because they'd probably have to shave off the hair. I'd rather let it heal on its own. And both of my wrists are only sprained, but very badly, and they both have their own black brace now. It looks ridiculous, as you can imagine. But I guess wearing three braces all at once is better than having permanent damage done to my bones, serving as constant reminders of my crumbling life. My corrupted innocence and tainted soul.

I need to get out of this house as soon as possible, my own morbid thoughts are driving me even more insane than before.

•~•~•~•~•

The distant feeling consumes me as I walk into the small sub shop. I see Tessa waiting for me and I fake a smile. Walk over. Sit down. Say thank you for ordering my food. Stare out the window.

I feel like I'm just going through the motions.

Five or so minutes pass in silence and I feel Tessa's eyes on me the entire time, but I don't dare look up. Avoiding all eye contact at all costs is the only way to keep the door for conversation closed. I don't feel like speaking today.

"Alright, what's wrong." Tess sounds aggrivated as she puts her sub down.

I should've knocked on some wood.

"Nothing."

She stares me down like a hawk. "Bull."

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just not in a good mood right now."

"Well you seem all angry and shit so-"

"Did it not occur to you that maybe I just don't want to talk to anyone right now?" I snap, my tone dripping with venom.

"Like I could actually realize that when you won't even look me in the eye? You know you can talk to me about it if you want?" Her tone softens.

"And I don't" I throw back.

"Well at least stop acting like a fucking child!" She yells, causing people to stare at us.

"I will when you stop acting like my mother!"

"Oh _please!"_

"You just cant handle when people don't do things exactly your way, can you?!"

"I was just trying to be a good friend and ask what was wrong!"

"Uh, huh. That mustn't've worked out so well, since nothing was wrong and you had to keep pressing!"

"Oh whatever now you're just looking for attention!"

"Oh says you! Look around, dumbass, there's a crowd staring at us cuz you yelled first!"

"Excuse me, ladies. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." A timid waitor comes over and says to Tessa and I.

"Oh look what you've done now!" I say, picking my bag up as I stand.

"It's not my fault, maybe you should stop acting like a bitch!"

"Maybe _you_ shouldn't spout shit out your mouth. Especially since you don't know what the fuck you're talking about." I snarl. I'm shocked by my own actions, I've never cussed at anyone. Besides Ross, of course, but unlike Tessa he had it coming. She really was trying to be a good friend and she was 100% right. Everything was wrong. I felt dead and strung out. Is it sad that I miss fighting with Ross already and it hasn't even been a week? I swear, the first few days he was gone I had withdrawal symptoms. I still can't eat or drink, I didn't even touch my sub. I missed him way too much and it felt like someone drained all the color out of my world. I have no purpose or drive to do well. I feel dead again without having him to talk to every day, even when I act like I can't stand it. I miss the way he makes me feel, most of all. Yes, Tessa's right. But I will deny it to the grave, because once I admit it to her, I admit it to myself.

As soon as we're out of the shop, I know what I have to do.

"I'm sorry.."

She looks at me like I have three heads.

"What are you, bipolar?!"

Oh, the irony.

I almost smile. I would if I wasn't dead. "No."

"Apology accepted." She says, rolling her eyes.

We walk in silence down the road to where our cars are parked. When else get to her BMW, we say awkward goodbyes.

And now I'm alone.

Dangerous.

I sigh heavily before walking as fast as I can on the sidewalk, stopping at my car. I don't know what to do, where to go... Have I always been so lost? I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I wish that my family was closer. I hop in my car, deciding to write a letter to pass the time and take my mind off of things, but also because I haven't in a long time.

_Dear Mom, Demi, and Grammy,_

_I have to come clean; I've been lying to you. I am honestly not okay. I'm so fucking stressed that when I went to go brush my hair this morning, a huge-ass clump of it fell out. Just like that. The pressure of everything is getting to me, you guys. It really is. I feel like my brain is going to explode, literally, if one more bad thing happens._

Before I can comprehend what I'm doing, I get carried away, letting all the things bottled inside just pour out.

_It's too much stress for me. Way too much. And it's driving me to insanity, little by little tearing down my already thin walls. This isn't healthy, why can't I just be normal? Why can't things just go as planned? I feel so dead right now, the only thing that's keeping me alive is gone and- _

Tears that I didn't even know we're surfacing roll down my cheeks, leaving salty streams of sadness in their wake. I rip the paper to tiny shreds before bending the pen with all my might until it finally snaps. I slam it on the dashboard and just sob.

I cry until I am empty of tears, along with everything else.

I look out the windows. It's dark outside. Totally pitch black.

My eyes wander to the rear view mirror. I stare back at the girl in the mirror.

Who is that?

The pasty-white girl staring back at me could not possibly be me. I can see her every outline, every bone. She looks sick, and nauseous, but she hasn't eaten anything for a long time, I can tell. Her eyes are sinking into her skull, and dark bags are under her pale blue orbs, making her appear much older. All the heroine that'a been in the young girl's system is also making her age. Hollowed out cheeks matching a hollowed out soul.

I furrow my eyebrows, and so does the girl.

Who is that?

I tear my eyes away from her, pity making it too hard to look.

I grab another pen and paper, quickly scribbling down words.

_Hey you guys. I've missed you all so much, but I'm doing great. I have to keep this short and sweet, because I have a lot of studying to do._

I snort at myself. What a pack of lies. I'm just too drained to do anything else.

_I'm making really good grades and I've made a couple of friends. Don't worry about me. Here's some money to tide you over until Mom's next pay._

_Love you,_

_Julia._


	15. Chapter 15-Are You Scared?

**(Sorry if it's not that good, I really wanted to get something posted since it's been so long. School is why I haven't been updating in a long time. I have several things due right now and I really shouldn't be on my phone but I felt bad for not posting anything in so long so here you go.)**

15

I sit in silence for God knows how long. The sun has already started going down, I can just barely see outside in the dim twilight lighting. I turn up the radio a little, listening to the soft hums of my favorite band, The Fray. I sing along under my breath and sigh in and out slowly. Some of my anxiety has faded, but it's still there. I make the mistake of looking in the rear view mirror. Flinching at my appearance, I immediately look out the driver side's window.

I can faintly hear the sounds of sirens in the distance, but I ignore it. After about five minutes, the sound has gained volume and feels way too close. I listen intently over the sound of my music. I can tell that it's coming from behind me. Furrowing my brow, I look in the side mirror and suddenly the flashing lights are in sight. There's a cop car chasing two people on foot. Based on their builds, I can determine they are young men. They're coming straight for me.

I am still in my seat.

What do I do?

They race along the sidewalk, the boys run at impressive speed. Suddenly, one of the guys pulls out a gun. I gasp. Several shots are fired at the police, making the car swerve and create screeching noises as the rubber of their tires burn. I can smell it from where I sit, paralyzed in fear, in my car.

My brain eventually gets a response out of my body as they come closer and closer, shouting and firing shots at each other. I begin to start my car so that I can get the hell out of here, when one of the boys jumps off a small ditch, causing his hoodie to fall back and reveal his bright blonde hair.

Holy shit.

I don't even have time to process what I am doing before I stomp on the gas pedal, circling around in front of the police car. I jolt to a stop, slamming myself forward in my seat. The cop car skids to a stop just barely in time to avoid hitting me. They hit a light post on the side instead. I take the small window of opportunity to open the door for the group of boys on foot, who are in total shock. So am I.

"Get in!" I nearly scream, the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

Ross stares at me with wide eyes, blinking several times to make sure this is real. I'm not sure if it is myself.

They seem cautious, not trusting me. Ross takes the first step forward, running over to the passenger side. They follow him, and rush into my car. I peal out, speeding down the road at a frightening speed. After a long while, I can tell that we lost them, if they even chased us at all. I begin to slow down until we are going at a legal speed.

Silence takes over the whole car. I don't know the two boys in the back seat, I've never seen them before. They stare out their windows with scowls on their faces and I can see the hatred burning behind them. I start to wonder what life has put them through. They must have seen horrors I could never comprehend.

"Where do I drop you off?" My voice comes out confident. And I realize that I have a sudden boost of it. It's probably the adrenaline, making me feel aware and alive.

"Just keep going straight, I'll tell you where to go from here." Ross speaks quietly from my side. He is acting very distant. I think I deserve some sort of emotion from him, considering how I just saved his ass.

We drive for what seems like hours until I finally pull up outside an old rickety apartment building. The boys in the back get out, but Ross stays behind.

"You can come in." He offers quietly. I feel pissed at him. He worried me all week. I missed him so much and I was so sad and he was off pulling this shit? I almost tell him to go fuck himself but I realize that I need an explanation as to why I had to put my life in danger and break the law. If I get caught, I will surely go to jail for interrupting a police chase. I take a long sigh, trying to calm my conflicting emotion.

"Okay." I get out of the car. He follows suit and we walk up to the front door of the building. We go through the lobby in silence, it's not until we reach the privacy of the elevator that I finally speak.

"You are going to have to tell me what just happened because I honestly have no fucking clue." I snap at him.

"We got into a bit of trouble with the cops."

"Well obviously." I bark.

He doesn't say anything For a long time.

The elevator comes to a stop and he leads me down some hallways until he stops in front of a door, pulling out his keys.

He opens the door and the hinges creak. We walk into his living room and I dont see the boys from before.

"Where are those other guys?" I ask in confusion. I had assumed they were his roommates or something, I don't know.

"They're not here right now."

I'm getting even more pissed.

"Why are you keeping things from me?!" I yell at him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He says in a monotone voice, walking calmly down into a hallway. I follow him.

"Yes you do! You are purposely keeping details from me! Like what you did to get the police to shoot at you and where those boys are now!"

He doesn't argue, he just opens a door and flicks on the light of the dark room. I see by the bed that it must be his. The room has barely anything in it and the walls are covered in chipped paint and stains of all sort.

His unaffected attitude only angers me more.

"Where are they?" I repeat. He shrugs. It takes every once of Will power in me to stop myself from throwing him into the wall.

He sits down on his bed and takes his boots off, followed by his socks. I stare at him as he peels him jacket off.

"Are you really not going to talk to me?"

"I don't want to talk about that with you."

I stare at him with my mouth open. "I fucking ran a cop car into a light post for you and you don't have the decency to tell me why I had to?!" I yell, running a hand through my hair and tugging at the roots in frustration.

"I can't believe you actually did that." He says, not answering me.

"Neither can I."

"Why did you?"

This question takes me by surprise.

"I... I don't know."

I honestly don't.

He looks at me, studying, before he gets up and walks towards me. My breathing quickens with each step he takes. My insides are on fire and he's suddenly right in front of me. I feel my cheeks tingle. Biting my lip, I stare at his chest, refusing to look into his eyes.

He surprises me by bringing his fingers to my jaw. I flinch slightly, but I don't pull away as he slowly lifts my chin up to where my face is directed at him. Stubbornly, I close my eyes. He chuckles lowly. "Look at me." He nearly whispers, softly caressing the sensitive skin he is touching. I shiver visibly, and curse myself for it under my breath. I give in and open my eyes.

"Are you scared?" He says quietly. His warm breath gently fans over my face and my mouth waters.

I shake my head, but my betrays me and my eyes begin to sting. My lip quivers and he wraps me in his arms. My tight muscles relax in his strong arms and I sigh in relief. Sinking into his chest, I nuzzle my face in his neck and cautiously return his hug. He hums in approval and my cheeks are on fire.

"I was worried about you." I blurt out. I swear I feel his heart beat faster.

"You were?"

"Yes." I admit.

"Why?"

"You weren't at school for a really long time. I didn't see you or anything and I know that you don't have the...safest life... Basically I was just worried that you were doing exactly what you were."

"Is that why you were upset?" He rubs my back and my eyes flutter closed. I bite my lip as his hands move lower to the rest on the small of my back. I shift uncomfortably, suddenly self conscious.

I pull away. "I'm tired." I say. "I should really get going."

I don't even let him answer me before I walk out of the room and down the hall. I hear his footsteps behind me. "Wait!" he calls. I keep walking.

"Jules!" I ignore him as I walk past the couch. I can see a huge red stain on it and suddenly I feel like throwing up.

"Julia!" I barely touch the doorknob before he grabs my wrist. I feel the familiar fire shoot up my arm and through the rest of my body. I turn around.

"What?" I almost yell.

"You can stay here." He says the last thing I expected. I actually don't know what I thought he was going to say, but that definitely wasn't it.

I blink in surprise before I shake my head. "No, I have to go." I slip my arm from his grip.

"Will I see you again?"

I stop in my tracks yet again.

"What?"

"Are you going to stay away from me? You're acting like you want to get away from me as quickly as you can, like you're scared of me."

"I'm not scared of you..." I say. "I'm scared of what you are capable of."

"You're still not answering my question." He says with sad eyes.

I just stare at him. He lowers his head before he turns around, looking totally defeated. He begins to walk away and he looks so much younger. So much more vulnerable. I take a step towards him and grab a fistful his shirt. He turns to face me.

I quickly stand on my tippy toes and give him the smallest peck on the cheek. I know I shouldn't but I need something to reassure him that what I am about to say is true.

"I wouldn't've gone through all that trouble just to walk away."

**(FEEDBACK PLEASE? It literally takes ten seconds of your life to comment your opinion and I spend hours writing. It really makes my day, please review.)**


	16. Chapter 16-I Wish, I Want, I Need

**(*worst Texan accent you have ever heard* HAOWDY YALL... Okaaayyy so I updated this at like 11:40PM because I couldn't sleep LOL... Not sure what else to say, it's really late and I'm finally tired... So anyways hope you all like it, luff yu! Goodnight and don't let the bed bugs bite!)**

16

"Uncertainty is killing me

And I'm certainly not asleep

Maybe I've gone far to deep

Maybe I'm just far to weak

Ands that's the last place

I want to be the last place"

The Fray, Uncertainty

_•~•~•~•~•_

_"I wouldn't've gone through all that trouble just to walk away."_

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I am unsure. Of course, the words are the pure truth. But what if he reads into it, thinking I have feelings for him? I am still uncertain of where I stand. One second I am feeling butterflies in my stomach... And the next I really want to kick him where the sun doesn't shine.

Words can't even express the confusion I feel.

His lips are parted, cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink. If you told me even yesterday that I would have Ross speechless and blushing, I would have laughed in your face.

And all of a sudden I see something that I never have on Ross.

Vulnerability.

He looks like a child, so innocent and helpless. His blush deepens as we stare at each other with wide eyes.

"Y-You... I..." I stutter hopelessly. "I should go." I repeat for the millionth time.

I look frantically from him to the door, panic setting in. Although I know it's the cowardly thing to do, I rush out of it before I stay and say even more things that I should keep to myself. I find myself scolding myself for being disappointed when I don't hear the familiar sound of his heavy boots thudding against the ground, chasing after me.

I purposely take the longest road back to Robby's. I was beginning to scare myself. Usually, I was able to numb my whole body and mind to protect myself from the horrors that lived in Robby's basement. But tonight I feel so anxious, as if any slight disturbance will send me over the edge.

Dealing with the feelings that I may or may not have on top of this is just too much. I can't honestly feel anything for him, can I? I hardly even know the angry man that is Ross. So how can I possibly feel more? I don't.

I don't.

I don't, I don't, I don't...

I think about it for a while, and I come up with a theory. When I'm with Ross, the complicity of his life is so encompassing that it is utterly impossible to focus on anything but. In a sick way, it's a sort of fantasy world where all of my problems disappear, and I'm not ready to face reality.

That God damned house comes into view way too quickly. I apprehensively step out, keeping my head down as it has begun to lightly drizzle. The microscopic droplets falling down, shining like glitter in the dim lights from ahead, and the chilly air gives an incredible illusion of peacefulness. Surely this is the world's way of mocking me, I can't help but think bitterly as I walk up the steps of the place I hate most in the world.

Robby doesn't even acknowledge my presence and for that, I am glad. I walk straight ahead into the kitchen and no one's out, so I take the ominous walk down into the basement. Eventually the dark dampness turns to bright red and decaying smells. I can't decide if it's the age of the room, or the deteriorating young women who sell their bodies just so their family can have a single meal a day.

I zone out the best that I can, evaluating things in my life. Hours pass by like minutes as I wallow in self-pity. When I look back up into the vanity mirror, I notice that I am completely done. Hair curled to stringy perfection, trashy makeup in place.

I hate the way I look, whether it's at a time like this, getting ready for work, or just any day in general. Cringing at mirrors has become a habit of mine. Sighing, I get dressed and load up with the rest of the girls. I stare out the window, counting the stars. The first one I see is a bright one bigger than the rest. I don't know why, but I start the rhyme in my head.

_Star light,_

_Star bright,_

_First star I see tonight._

Truth be told, I feel a bit ridiculous but I decide that it really doesn't matter. I'm getting ready to walk the streets for money, selling dirty fake love to anybody who pays the right amount. If I want to wish on a star, then I fucking will.

_I wish I may,_

_I wish I might, _

_Have this wish I wish tonight._

I flutter my eyes closed, leaning back as I think hard of what I wish to happen the most.

_I wish... that Ross will fight for me._

Idon't know why, but the words just come out in my head, flowing like water from a broken dam. I know there are some aspects of that that are true. Although I said I wouldn't walk away, and I won't, I know I should. I want to walk away. But at the same time, I want him to fight for me. I want for someone to actually care enough to come back again and again after I push them away, and still tell me that they care for me and that everything is going to be alright...

I want a lot of things.

But what I need is a different story. I need luck, hope, faith. I need virtue and I need my innocence back. I need self respect and security. I need to deal with my issues before all of my hair falls out from worrying too much. I fucking need a therapist.

But most of all, I need to support my family.

I almost panic like I used to when I was a kid and didn't wish for the right thing, feeling so disappointed at myself for wasting it. Now I would have to wait until tomorrow!

I giggle to myself, feeling like an absolute idiot. The sound of it echoes off the leather upholstery in the silent car, causing all eyes to land on me. They give me confused looks, probably thinking I'm insane. I brush it off, knowing that I've been insane for a very long time.

•~•~•~•~•

The light drizzle from before turns to a full on thunder storm. Rain pours down on me, buckets and buckets of it. The wind blows it around at break-kneck speed, causing it to slap against my face. My hair blows all around and sticks to my face. Up ahead, I see a faint light of a rundown motel. I can tell just by the rickety old shacks and overgrown fences that this is not a remotely good part of town.

As I walk up to the sketchy little building, I look around and see that it's basically abandoned. The only evidence of a person being here is the clanking of my heals and the shattered pieces of a hundred liquor bottles all around. I cringe, but I don't complain when I can finally sit on a bench underneath the side of the roof, gaining shelter from the rain.

Now that I'm sitting still, the freezing temperature is more noticeable. I shudder and shiver, so cold that my feet go numb. I rub my arms to help aid to the goosebumps but I can't. I'm so caught up in freezing to death that I don't even notice the presence of a drunk man stumbling towards me. I zero in on the bottle in his hand, and see that it's the same as the ones that I saw smashed all over the place.

"Hey!" He yells across the ten feet of space between us, over the rain.

I smile and walk over to him, already getting numb. I know what happens next.

"Are youlooking for afun time?" The disgusting man's words run together and I cringe at them but quickly recover.

"For the right price, yes." I keep my voice low and sultry, causing the man to let out an audible moan. My stomach churns and I know that if I had eaten anything earlier, then I would throw it up now.

"I'vegot 250inmy wallet." He hiccups. I nod, that should be plenty.

Following his to his room in the filthy motel, I feel tawdry and worthless. Where is my self respect? Oh right, it's at home with everything else I left behind.

We walk down two shirt hallways and we're already on the other side of the building. The man takes out his keys and fumbles with them, rattling them around with furrowed eyebrows and I know it must be hard to focus on which key opens your door when you're belligerently drunk with a huge boner. I feel like throwing up. My head pounds.

Eventually the dumbass gets it right and goes inside.

He pulls his shirt off and begins to undo his belt but I hold up a hand, looking away. "Pay first." I state Robby's policy.

He grumbles profanities and staggers around the room in search of his wallet. I stand somewhat patiently, taking the time to finally look at him. He looks to be in his mid thirties. He has a small "beer belly", but really I'm surprised it's not bigger what with all of those bottles he's been emptying. He has light brown hair and some stubble. He's far from attractive. About five minutes pass and finally he finds his fucking wallet.

"Here." He says quickly. I count it up and sure enough, it's all there. I was more than hoping it wasn't so that I could get the hell out of here. He takes off the rest of his clothing and I look away, feeling dirty and cheap on so many levels.

"C'mere sweetheart." He coos from the bed. I shudder, feeling nauseous once more as I make my way over to join him.

•~•~•~•~•

The next morning, I wake up and I feel like crying my eyes out. I have never felt more worthless. Cautiously, I unweave his legs from mine and unhook his arms from my waist. He stirs, mumbling inaudible things and for a second I think he's going to wake up. I have a mini heart attack before I see him grab the pillow I was using and cuddle into it. Everything in this room is filthy and looks like it hasn't been maintained since it was built. The carpet, the walls, the bed...

And me.

I sit up and gather my clothes from the floor, using the small natural light coming in from behind the thin curtains to help me get dressed. Once my clothes are on, I grab the money and walk towards the door slowly and quietly, one step at a time. Once I finally reach it, I grab hold of the knob and turn it ever so slowly, careful not to make one sound. Just as I open it a crack, a hand comes out from behind me and pushes it shut. I hear the click of a lock.

"You're not going anywhere, sweetheart."


	17. Chapter 17-Died And Gone To Hell

**(YOU GUIZE OMFG GUESS WHAT! IMV HAS 3000 VIEWS! *cue screaming* OH MY GOD YOU GUIZE ARE THE BEST ILY ALL SO MUCH! And before I start the chapter, I just want to thank coolcool02 for ALWAYS putting up with my shit when I have writer'a block and ALWAYS posting lovely reviews! Just the fact that you're reviewing means a lot to me, even if it was a bad review because I am just one of those people who LOVES feedback... ALMOST AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU ;D ! Please enjoy the story my lovely little unicorns *pinches your cheek*)**

17

_"You're not going anywhere, sweetheart."_

As soon as a barely audibly gasp of shock leaves my parted lips, the man's hand comes to the back of my head. He grabs a fistful of my hair and pushes forward forcefully, hurdling my skull into the hard, flat surface of the door. The loud thud echoes off the thin walls and the force put behind the blow puts me into shock. I scream as loudly as I possibly can as I fall to the ground. My eyes squeeze themselves shut, and I can't think straight.

_Am I blind?! _

Panic is my first instinct, causing me to thrash about and claw at my face.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, SKANK!" The volume of his words make my head feel as though he is knocking it repeatedly against the floor.

All I see is black.

There is a millisecond where he doesn't say a thing before something pointy comes into sharp contact with my gut. I recognize the feeling immediately, even without my vision, I've felt this a million times. The feeling of a foot colliding with my middle. I scream even more, causing him to repeat the abusive act.

Each blow leaves a small thumping sound.

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump, thump, thump._

His actions become even more violent and for a second I think I've died and gone to hell.

I feel grungy hands grip my small amount of clothing, using it to forcefully pull me to my feet. It's not very effective, as my feet give out from underneath me anyways. I can't walk, I can hardly even breath. The pain in my stomach is too much to bear. I feel myself gag, before bile rises up my throat. I haven't eaten anything for a while, though, so all that comes up is stomach acid.

The man screams and drops me. I throw my hands out in front of me out of instinct and luckily I catch myself, but barely. The filthy carpet rubs roughly against my skin and it burns like fire. I empty the load of burning warm acid and cough like a maniac. The smell is disgusting, and I am suddenly glad that I can't see it.

Again, I am yanked off the floor and I slowly feel my mind drift off until I don't think anything. Lightheaded, my breathing slows until I fall out of consciousness.

•~•~•~•~•

My eyelids feel like they weigh a ton as I struggle to pry them open. My whole body aches. I can see due to a small amount of moonlight coming through a pitch black room. I sigh in relief, I'm not blind. My head still aches from earlier. It troubles me that I can't say 'from last night', or 'from a week ago'. I have no clue how long I've been in this dark, damp room.

I look down and see bruises and scratches littering my body. My eyes travel to my hands, and that's when I see the scratchy fabric tieing each of my wrists to the arms of a splintery old chair. My ankles are tied to the legs. I attempt to move the joints, searching for any looseness in the knot, but I find none. Instead, I feel the rough material dig and rub against my skin until it feels raw. I know there will be a rug burn later.

Again, panic sets in. I wiggle around like mad, only to have the old, rope-like fabric rub me harder. I squeak in pain, I have to stop. Gasping for air, I look around for something, _anything_ I could use to sever my binds.

Suddenly, I hear the sound of a shutting door behind me. I squeeze my eyes shut at the sound of a clicking lock.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." He cackles menacingly. Adrenaline pumps through my tired veins.

_No_.

The sound of his footsteps echoes off the walls, and each step of his feet are like the seconds on a clock, slowly ticking away. I helplessly wonder what will happen when I run out of time.

There is a second of horrible silence before he steps in front of me. I don't dare to look up. Instead, I keep my head bowed and my eyes squeezed firmly shut.

"Look at me." His hot breath hits my ear, making me shiver in disgust. I stubbornly keep my head down, not saying a word or making any noise. There's a second of silence before the back of his hand comes into contact with my cheek, throwing my head to the side. The chair almost topples over due to the power put behind it. I dont say anything as I continue to look down. But I can't help the tears that stream down my cheeks.

"I SAID LOOK AT ME, BITCH!" He harshly grabs my chin and whips my face forward to look at his ugly face. My whole body involuntarily leans forward, pulling my wrists and ankles roughly with it. The bindings dig so deeply into my skin. I hold in more tears as another, red, liquid drips out of my body instead. I glance down at the source of my agony. Blood trickles down off my wrists and ankles before splashing onto either the dirty wooden chair or the cold concrete floor. I quickly look up at the drunk man, I'm forced to because my eyes start to hurt from looking down so much.

"WHEN I SAY TO DO SOMETHING, YOU DO IT! UNDERSTAND?!" He screams in my face, causing extra spittle to spray out of his mouth and into my face. I grimace but say nothing. He pushes my face, causing me to fall back into my chair. The old thing wobbles before it falls backward, taking me with it. The back of my head comes into contact with the concrete floor and I feel more blood rush out of me. I scream slightly, but bite my lip before I can let the shrieks of pain escape my mouth. I have learned the hard way to never show weakness.

I stare at the ceiling, unable to look at anything else as I hear him coming closer. His feet stop just to the right of my head. I look slightly to the right and see him looking down at me in disgust as I lay on my back, still tied to the chair. Slowly, an evil smirk starts to form on his thin, parched lips.

"Clearly I am going to have to teach you some respect." He reaches into his back pocket and his hand comes back with something shiny in it. The polished metal glimmers in the moonlight. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion before he flicks his wrist and out comes a blade.

_A switchblade_.

He crouches down and hovers above me and I squirm, desperately trying to free myself. But I can't.

He drags the blade across my bottom lip. I gasp, struggling to breathe as blood runs out of the stinging cut. Licking his chapped lips, he leans down before running his tongue along the cut. I press my lips together tightly, making pathetic sounds of protest. I bring both of my lips in between my teeth, hiding them from him.

He chuckles sadistically. Tears blur my vision once more.

"You should really learn to cooperate."

He takes the knife and digs into my arm, watching without empathy as I shriek my lungs out. The knife must go an inch into my arm. The deep cut gushes blood. The redness sprays out uncontrollably. He must have hit a vein.

"Who's slut are you?" He demands, pushing it deeper. I scream and he takes it out before grabbing my face once more. He forces my jaw open and runs the flat side of the blade on my tongue.

"Suck!" He yells in my face. I whimper and run my tongue along the cool metal, cleaning the blood off until all I taste is the metallic taste of the knife...

"Now, answer me. Who's slut are you?!" He yells. I stay silent.

His foot swings back and I barely have time to flinch and shut my eyes before it crashes into my right cheekbone. My head whips to the side and my vision fades to black for a second, but quickly returns. I have suffered so many blows to my head. I know I must have a concussion, and he's making it a million times worse. A few more knocks to the head and there could be permanent damage.

I scream a little and whimper, unable to keep the sobs back as I bite my lips so hard that I break the tender skin and blood leaks out of it.

"WHO'S SLUT ARE YOU?!" He screams, his voice booming through the dark area.

I think he's asking who I work for. "Robhy's." I say in an uninterested tone. I look up and see his face twist even farther in anger.

"What...did...you...say.?" He grits through his teeth.

"Robby's." I repeat.

His heel comes down on my stomach, in the exact spot he kicked it repeatedly. I can't hold back my shriek this time. I scream as loudly as I possibly can, a bloodcurdling scream of pure pain that makes my throat grow raspy. I taste the familiar warm, sticky saltiness of blood in my mouth.

"WRONG, YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE! YOU'RE _MY_ SLUT!" He holds the blade to my throat, aiming straight at my jugular. I can tell by the hollow evil behind his bloodshot eyes that he would not hesitate to kill me.

"Yours!" I scream as he begins to press the sharp edge into my skin.

He immediately pulls back, smirking. "Now was that so hard.?" He asks. Insanity glimmers behind his eyes. He disappears before coming back with a bottle of Jäger in his hand. He takes a large swig, not even wincing. I assume he's been drinking for a long time already and is used to it.

Then, he turns his back to me and I let out a sigh of relief. He walks away, opening a door. Light pours in and his silhouette turns around. My heart beat quickens once more as he says, "I'll be back later to give you your punishment."

_That wasn't my punishment?!_

"You need to learn who you belong to."

And he slams the door behind him, leaving me alone in the pitch black to cry my eyes out in peace.


End file.
